Feel Alright

(album: Why Am I So Happy? - 2015)

I bet it all on myself, that's a safe bet (I'm all in)
I'm not reliant on nobody for my paycheck (PDank)
It's been five years since I wore a nametag, quit my day job in 2010 and never came back
Stayed since I entered, I never hit the exit
Keep moving like my mom, hiding from her exes
I just played like three shows in Texas
Sold it out in Austin, put the homies on the guest list
I'm in the van in Oklahoma bumping T.I
Rolling trees on my diploma on my Levi's
I saw behind the curtain, so I know my window's smaller than vagina on a virgin
But I'm tryna be happy when my visitor's gone
Even though my day's numbered like a prisoner's arm
I'm tryna

[Kristina Kentigian:]
I'm just tryna feel alright, alright

If smiling is lame, I wanna be lame
If I gotta pick a location, it's gonna be Maine
If I get something with this beard, it's gotta be brain
Dropped my first record when radio's a lot of T-Pain
I'm playing 21 in San Diego but I'm 29
Chadd won, Jay came in second, good thing I can rhyme (San Diego)
Teddy sent the beat without the tags on it (They know)
Built trust like a snowman, put a hat on it
I been me since cats had on Fubu
Classes skipped like ads on YouTube
Never got my degree, but I can turn the heat up
It's too much sun to let the whole world beat us

[Kristina Kentigian:]
I'm just tryna feel alright, alright

I wanna be rich, I wanna be liked
I wanna be dope, I been wrong, I wanna be right
But if I can't be none of that, then lastly
The one thing I really wanna be is happy (Tryna be sad?)
People live their whole life in the rat race
Fast paced, never get the cheese, come in last place (Hamsters)
So get to asking around
I got the blessings counted like a basket after the foul (And one)
I was the cook who melted the cheese
On your burger, but I'm educated, healthy and free
You never heard of anybody quite as honest as me
Who rock a mic when they open till they tell you to leave
Let's go

[Kristina Kentigian & (Spose):]
I'm just tryna feel alright, alright
(On a world tour, we can knock on every door
Grab the rich and the poor, we can make 'em feel alright
We can make 'em feel alright, we'll make 'em,
make 'em, make 'em feel alright, we'll make 'em feel alright)
I'm just tryna feel alright, alright
(We can find a way to feel alright)

Yo here's a moment that I replayed through
I was in the kitchen, politicking, kicking it with DJ Rew
One of his best friends just died in a fire
And he was going through divorce so I asked him how he smiled
He turned the faucet on and then he looked at me, crookedly
"I understood that if I'm sad, I shouldn't be"
It made me wanna go buy a guitar, run and play the drums
Let the bass man have some fun
Bass man, talk to 'em

[Kristina Kentigian:]
I'm just tryna feel alright, alright

[Spose:]
Everyone was running, tripping over debris, maybe a body, definitely debris
Sprinting, gasping, parents holding their kids, shielding their eyes, you know
All their kids running, parents eyes just widened by, y'know, in terror
And I was running too, just because everybody else was running
I mean, it's irrefutable, like if everybody's running, they must have a good reason, right?
So I was running, and running and running, and stepped on an iPhone, rechecking the cracked face
And it wasn't dead yet, it was still on, and it comforted me to see the glow, it's face shown
A picture, two pictures actually, you know, different women wearing the same dress
Who wore it better?
And running, and running and running and running
And glass, and sirens, yelling, crying
And finally I fell, I skidded across the sidewalk
And um, I looked back, mainly just to avoid any stampede
Or, you know, getting crushed
Most everyone else was running through the street,
weaving between the abandoned cars, and the cars were just still, empty
Like overgrown, metal bug carcasses
Like that REM video
And I looked back from where we came, and I saw it
I saw what we were running from
And I guess I wasn't surprised
It was shapeless, and huge and scary
And it had no form
It was frightening, really, um, it was the truth