Don't Mug Yourself

(album: Original Pirate Material - 2002)

A new day, another morning after
Leaning back on my chair in a greasy spoon cafeteria
Last night was some beer-lairy-ness done our way
But again, we're back in the light of day
Chatting shit, sitting at the wall table, telling jokes
Playing with the salt, looking out the window
Girl brings two plates of full English over
With plenty of scrambled eggs and plenty of fried tomato
Get my phone out, 'bout to give this girl a shout
See if she had a nice time last night uptown
Ask if she fancies trying it again some time
Then Calv grabs the phone like "Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!"

Hold it down, boy, your head's getting blurred
I know you can't stop thinking of her
By all means, you can vibe with this girl
But just don't mug yourself, that's all, don't mug yourself

Seriously Mick, you fucker
No, no, no! D'you know what I mean?
I'll fucking, I'm no way, really, d'you know what I mean?
I'm fucking... I can take it or leave it, believe!
And then Calvin's like, "Oi!"

You need to hold it down, Jack, put your phone back
Quit staring into space and eat your snack, that's that
She'll want you much more for not hanging on
Stop me if I'm wrong, stop me if I'm wrong
Why should she be the one who decides
Whether it's off or on, or on, or off or on?
Now the girl's rude, I know she's rude
But she's screwed right through you, you'll be on your knees soon

Hold it down, boy, your head's getting blurred
I know you can't stop thinking of her
By all means, you can vibe with this girl
But just don't mug yourself, that's all, don't mug yourself

And I'm like
Honestly, it's not like that
You're acting like I'm prancing like a sap
Jumping when she claps and that
Oi, do you really think I act whack?
'Cause I'm telling ya
I'm serving the aces and it's game, set and match
Perfectly in control of this goal
I've got the lead role
Won't be folding, I'm older than you told
Girl sold, high speed's gold
Game over, game over, too cold

Hold it down, boy, your head's getting blurred
I know you can't stop thinking of her
By all means, you can vibe with this girl
But just don't mug yourself, that's all, don't mug yourself
Hold it down, boy, your head's getting blurred
I know you can't stop thinking of her
By all means, you can vibe with this girl
But just don't mug yourself, that's all, don't mug yourself

Oh-oh, yeah
Hold it down, boy, your head's getting blurred
I know you can't stop thinking of her
That girl is – she has smelly on her Ps
She must have crab and fucking shrimp in her teeth
(No! Oh no, that's it, that's it)
Hold on, let me go again, let me go again
Are we, are we still recording?
Whoa, yeah