How Come

(album: The Human Experience - 2021)

How come I could never escape
And how come I still feel so afraid
And how come I denied my faith
And drown out the darkness
These thoughts that consume my head

Lately I can never seem to escape
I've been a victim of my thoughts and every single mistake
Feel like clarity is a drug and I just need me a taste
So I can find a right path, please show me the way
Cause I've been searching way below the surface
Feel like I've been turned into a whole different person
Treating all the ones I love like they're a burden
So when they all pass I know that I'll feel worthless
I'm trying to live a better life
And I've been working for it every night
I tell my self "don't get distracted 'til your bread is right"
I'm never spending time with family 'cause they barely understand me
If they look into my mind they'll see what hell is like
I'm drowning, liquor that I'm doused in
Never helped shit but it's quicker then some counseling
Always by myself, still I feel like I'm surrounded
Say my family's proud but I truly fucking doubt it
Like what could they say "Way to go Vin, way to leave us back here,
Way to be a completely different person then last year,
Only hit us up when you got a reason to brag,
Yeah push us out of the way just to guarantee that your path clear"

How come I could never escape
And how come I still feel so afraid
And how come I denied my faith
And drown out the darkness
These thoughts that consume my head

Hey Vin, it's us again, it's your family
We know your probably working on music or something fancy
You made it real clear that we are less important that Grammy's
And we are really glad to see that your life without us is happy
You bough a house with some rap money, congrats, bro
It really helps with the fact that you are leaving dad broke
He's almost 60 so way to ruin he's last hope
He can't retire, we are glad that you're swimming in cash tho
And don't forget that you left your nephew and niece
From the moment they were born and like barely able to breathe
Hope you're not too traumatized and it's not affecting your sleep
Well we know it's not, 'cause when we call you don't wanna speak
Man, you really got to wonder if you truly feel empathy
So focused on your future that you threat us like a memory
Call us all your family but is more like we're your enemies
And everybody praise you for the person you pretend to be
Celebrity boy, you're so famous
Find yourself worth in the money, that's dangerous
That's why you either get paid or get wasted,
You're running from the truth, no wonder your so anxious
You're not looking well, I mean we are only looking out for your health
But you are a selfish motherfucker looking out for yourself
Trade the love and your family for a mountain of wealth
Then write a fucking song about us, so your album could sell
Man, what a sick joke, turning on your kinfolk
Think we liked you better all those days that you sniffed coke
Get it in the open even though you wanted tip-toe
As it probably turned you into a motherfucking schizo
Accept your faith, say you love us but that shit so fake
You becoming everything you hate, you barely show your face
And by the time you recognize what truly matters
Motherfucker, it's gonna be too late

How come I could never escape
And how come I still feel so afraid
And how come I denied my faith
And drown out the darkness
These thoughts that consume my head