Expendable

(album: BiTrektual - 2012)

Expendable, I'm wearing red and I'm expendable
You need me dead I am dependable
You need me alive I'm not your guy
Cause on the surface, where Spock and Kirk is
It's almost certain that I'm gonna die
Expendable, am I

Terrible, when it comes to shooting I'm just terrible
I shot at 210 rebels and didn't hit a single guy
I couldn't hit the Death Star while on the Death Star
I'd probably shoot my foot and then I'd cry
A terrible shot am I

Back at the academy
No one was as bad as me
Though I tried my very best

Made my teachers all irate
Puked from everything I ate
Got an F on every test

Though excelling was my wish
I broke the main deflector dish
And they threw me out of class

Then they caught me raising heck
Naked on the holodeck
I thought there's no way I can pass

And just when I thought that I was screwed
They said "We've got the perfect job for you!"

"You do?"

"You'll be expendable
You will wear red and be expendable
For getting dead, you are dependable
In fact you are the perfect guy
If shields are down or we blow a warp core
It's almost guaranteed you're gonna fry!
Expendable..."
am I

Back when I was just a teen
Growing up on Tatooine
Beggar's Canyon was my scene

But my aim was really bad
Couldn't bullseye a womp rat
With my trusty T-16

This made me a little stressed
More than just a bit depressed
Drowned my tears in Anchorhead

There I met a man named Biggs
Said he had the perfect gig
To put me to the test

And just when I thought that I was screwed
He said "I've got the perfect job for you!"

"You do?"

You will be terrible, when it comes to shooting you're just terrible
You'll shoot at 210 Gungans and not a single one will die
We'll get the last laugh on Palpatine's ass
By building him an army of guys
So terrible
am I!

And that's how I became a red shirt
And that's how I became a trooper
And though apart we are pathetic
Together we are super-duper

I'll shoot at you at you from foot or two
and much to your surprise
I'll miss you
Yet I'll still die
I'll miss you
Yet I'll still find a way to die!