Virus Alert

(album: Straight Outta Lynwood - 2006)

Hey, everyone, listen up,
Your attention if you please
Really wanna give you a warning
'Cause I found out this morning
'Bout a dangerous, insidious computer virus

If you should get an e-mail with the subject 'stinky cheese'
Better not go taking your chances
Under no circumstances
Should you open it
Or else it will

Translate your documents into Swahili
Make your TV record "Gigli"
Neuter your pets, and give your laundry static cling

Look out!
It's gonna make your computer screen freeze
Look out!
Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs
Look out!
Erase your hard drive and your backups too
And the hard drive of anyone related to you

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls
It'll make your keyboard all sticky
Give your poodle a hickey
And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney

Then, it will tie up your phone, making crank long-distance calls
It'll set your clocks back an hour
And start clogging the shower
So just trash it now, or else it will

Decide to give you a permanent wedgie,
Legally change your name to "Reggie",
Even mess up the pH balance in your pool

Look out!
It's gonna melt your face right off your skull
Look out!
And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull
Look out!
And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep
Look out!
And make you physically attracted to sheep

Look out!
Steal your identity and your credit cards
Look out!
Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards
Look out!
Then cause a major rift in time and space
And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place
That's right. It's a

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now

If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born
So before it e-mails your grandmother all of your porn

Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down
Drop it in a forty-three-foot hole in the ground
Bury it completely; rocks and boulders should be fine
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were on-line!

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now

What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know!
Hit "Send" right now!