PewDiePie Rap Roast (Rap Roasts #2)

I feel a little bad dissing a healthy wholesome Christian channel
It's gonna hit a nerve, like a dentist drill just split enamel
But if you listen out, you'll hear some sounds that I'll be saying
That'll get inside your brain and you'll never feel quite the same
Now, for the benefit of kids to whom I've not been introduced
I'm Dan Bull, a man who'll make you think, but using cringey tunes
It's like an interview, except that I rip into you
With rhymes and lyrics that'll get inside and sting like Vindaloo
But I'm just dissing you to get the views, Mr. Pewds
Unlike Onision, who is just rude, I can resist a feud
I pick and choose my victims like you pick your whiskey, dude
Just get a whiff of those big digits and I hit the booze
I'm getting sick and woozy sniffing the Hibiki fumes
Just give us a minute, consider this an interlude
While I nick your format and I twist it to "Get pissed you lose"
So if you do get pissed at this dispute, I guess you missed the truth

It's just a new and different route for me to redistribute
My criticism of big issues by which we're each affected too
These days it hits the YouTubes before it hits the news
That's why they're swift to try to get a libel hit on you
So I just sit amused at this dispute for which a truce
Is just as blooming likely as if finding that they print the truth
You dream of receiving a teabagging from G-Dragon
But I don't think he'll go for a skinny Swedish Steve Bannon
I'd tell you to delete your channel but I'd be here all night
Hold tight, you made a keyboard macro to be "alt right"
Oh my, did I just push your buttons? You're the touchy type
You could be right aligned, centre, left, but you're not justified
If I could underline the stuff that I'm disgusted by
You'd just see stripes across the writing like a crusty white piece of tiger bread
I'd like to peek inside your head
So I could see just why you said the things that people like to get offended by

Sometimes it seems just like they really like to be upset
But on the other side, there could be times that we forget
If you breathe a breath and move your lips about in certain shapes
It makes it tricky to discern if you're dispersing hate
I personally believe that you're a decent person, great
So don't feed your haters with an easy way to circulate beliefs that you're in league with a certain recent German state
It's like a skirmish in the street, it's not even worth it, mate
You got the Wall Street Journal hating, they should give you some credit
You made a way to monetise from browsing your own subreddit
Yeah, let the fans make the content and you just get it
Ad lib over the top of it, you barely even need to edit
Now this sounds callous, but well, I'm just putting it out there
You used to have your art in galleries and now you sell chairs
Your network dropped you, your net worth dropped, you
Could be better off trying to get work in a shop, you

Might as well just drop Vlogs, go back to selling hot dogs
And speaking of hot dogs, they're absolutely not pugs
Actually, I feel bad for saying that, I'll leave them out of it
Now, 'cause it isn't your pets' fault their daddy smells of fish
Anyone can set a Yeti on a desk and shout at it
Come to think about it, it's the thing I'm doing now, flip
Picking controversial topics out to get the mouse clicks
Except if I was you now, I'd take the Mick of Auschwitz
How many million Jews died, Pewds? About six?
I guess that's insignificant to your subscriber count, Felix
If anyone wants to break their contract with Maker Studios
Pewdie knows a new solution: Just make a stupid joke
But wait a blooming moment, Maker Studios are owned by Disney
The very same Disney that made this scene
That's still available for kids of any age to see
Hmm, I guess it's different when they're Asian clichés

It's double standards, plus it's underhanded business practice
YouTube will never give a slapped wrist over Disney's tactics
They're bringing too many views from useful demographics
While declaring bans on other channels, it's undemocratic
You'll never crack the algorithm, it's too enigmatic
To reach your own subscribers now, you'd better be telepathic
So I guess we'll never know, but on a level, though
I'm empathetic for the other fellows signed to Revelmode
You took them on your ship, then left them on an Archipelago
About as relevant as Leafy, saying "swag" and "hella dope"
You're breaking YouTube's safety policy, be careful, bro
No I ent, I'm just taking the P, look, Kwebbelko
Take the letters of PewDiePie and turn them to an anagram:
"I wipe deep", is there something that you wanna tell me, man?
You've gone from looking like a cheap G-Dragon rip off
To someone the police'd need to speak to, they received a tip off

I see your beard growing, so excuse me for assuming
But a primary sign of depression is neglecting your personal grooming
Fumbling through the kitchen, trying to stick together crap meals
Drinking whiskey on your own at home, I know how that feels
I understand, man, it's a cry for help
These are deep feelings each and every guy has felt
I say you're suffering in silence, it isn't that obsurd
You were in the Ricegum diss track and didn't rap a word