If I Was A Beer

(album: Getting Over Him - 2020)

If I was a beer
I'd be cold, cold, cold
After what you'd done, the way you shook me up
Boy, I'd explode
I'd have eleven good friends by my side
Waiting their turn on a Friday night
Ready to mess you up
But honey you're in luck

'Cause I'm a fine, fine wine
I'm a slow, sweet pour
I can be a little bitter, but I ain't a hard hitter
Like a 30 from the grocery store
So baby, goodbye-bye-bye
All I gotta say is cheers
You better thank your lucky stars that I ain't a PBR
'Cause it'd be going down different 'round here
If I was a beer
Mmm-yeah

Baby, over the years
I'm only gonna get better with age
And when you're sick of Milwaukee, you're gonna want me
'Cause you can't forget the taste
You're gonna want me on your lips, wanna hold me in your hands
Gonna want a second sip but you ain't gon' get the chance
'Cause I'll be making someone crazy on some love drunk
Maybe out in Cali, maybe out in France

'Cause I'm a fine, fine wine
I'm a slow, sweet pour
I can be a little bitter, but I ain't a hard hitter
Like a 30 from the grocery store
So baby, goodbye-bye-bye
All I gotta say is cheers
You better thank your lucky stars that I ain't a PBR
'Cause it'd be going down different 'round here

If I was a beer
I'd be cheaper, probably wind up tossed out
Roadside in the country
If I was a beer I'd be weaker
You'd just get what you wanted from me
And you'd crush me, but you can't crush me

'Cause I'm a fine, fine wine
I'm a slow, sweet pour
I can be a little bitter, but I ain't a hard hitter
Like a 30 from the grocery store
So baby, goodbye-bye-bye
All I gotta say is cheers
You better thank your lucky stars that I ain't a PBR
'Cause it'd be going down different 'round here
If I was a beer