Don't Want 2 Go Outside

(album: The Life Of Cam Meekins, Pt. 4 - 2019)

I don't want to judge you, I just want to love you
My life feel like a circle, and I thought you was the one to
Don't want to go outside today
I don't want to go outside today

Lately I really feel like I'm stuck inside of this mic
'Cause this life that I have is dark, I can't find my way to the light
I've been captured by these emotions, can't struggle, put up a fight
I go through it, really just coasting, don't know that I'll be alright
Been holding up peoples problems, ain't focusing on my own
They wan't us trapped in the system, don't wanna see people grow
My doctor prescribed these pills, does that mean that he ain't the plug?
When she fucked me just for the clout, does that mean it isn't love?
People think that the more you get, the more happier you become
But unless you're good with yourself, money just gonna buy you drugs
I've been stuck inside of this cycle, sometimes don't even wake up
These feeble dreams that I have leave my screaming "I'm not alone!"
Just know if you going through it, I feel you, 'cause I've been there
No telling if times goes slow, just know that it isn't fair
I know people gonna make assumptions, like what you said isn't real
But if you felt like how I feel, I feel

I don't want to judge you, I just want to love you
My life feel like a circle, and I thought you was the one to
Don't want to go outside today
I don't want to go outside today
I don't want nothing from you, just lean on me for comfort
I can't get out the house, baby, everyday is a struggle
Don't want to go outside today
I don't want to go outside today

Sometimes I think this weed that I'm smoking don't make me better
I try to write but don't feel no emotions, just throwing letters together
I'm growing older, but I'm feeling less
I'm making more money than ever, but feeling stressed
I still feel like I got a purpose bigger than myself
But ain't nobody gonna push you when you need some help
I just struggle through my addictions, the chicks, and smoking these spliffs
I ain't get that love growing up, so I'm compensating for this
I read scriptures to help my mom process the things I can't
I got family problems, but I don't really want to rant
I got a bunch of debt that I ain't got a plan for paying off
And I've been putting all this work in, I feel like it's paying off
But I don't see results, I got a lot that's in my mind, can't even see that far
Yeah, down a road I keep going
This all I know, I keep flowing
This poetry, it's emotion
But feel like I'm barely coping
So God, give me that strength to bring these songs to life
So if these people feel this way, they know it's all alright
I just thank you for what you gave me
And even the fact you made me
My homie just had a baby
Man, life gon' keep being crazy

I don't want to judge you, I just want to love you
My life feel like a circle, and I thought you was the one to
Don't want to go outside today
I don't want to go outside today
I don't want nothing from you, just lean on me for comfort
I can't get out the house, baby, everyday is a struggle
Don't want to go outside today
I don't want to go outside today