Dixie

(album: Cadillac Music - 2023)

You know that I am sorry momma
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
I only wanna see you smile
You know that I am sorry momma
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
I only wanna see you smile

Growing up wasn't a kid they believed would prosper
Back when dad was getting scripts from a crooked doctor
Back when I was reading scripts from the book of vodka
I used to keep a half a zip in my student locker
Older sis was expelled
Went to school at Excel
With all the other bad kids
Made it hard to excel
I was 15 when Ben taught me how to inhale
Stopped praying then 'cause I was used to living in hell
Burnt like sage but I wasn't on an Indian trail
Before we ever went to jail was getting plenty of bales
Back before your favorite rapper albums lyrics were stale
I kept my clientele small out of fear they would tell
I used to run with the drug dealers
Felt like they was big brothers
After Pop's died I had to eat so I skipped supper
Bumper car love
Between us there's a big buffer
Running from your own pain just made your kids suffer
Leaving my crib went on a comma chase
Never justified the tears put on my momma's face
I swear she cried for a year straight
Tryna hold this family together
But my hands were like clear tape
Easy to break
Straight face cuz a smile wasn't easy to fake
And mistakes were a dime a dozen, easy to make
Put this pill bottle felt like concrete, it wasn't easy to shake

Sorry Momma
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
I only wanna see you smile
You know that I am sorry Momma
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
I only wanna see you smile

I saw the look of fear was overtaking my moms
When I signed to Birdman the studio full of Dons
And drugs piled next to the interface intercom
Second guessing what type of person I would become
She had a skepticism that wasn't easily won
From growing up in a trailer and getting beat like a drum
Alcoholic parents abusing her like it's fun
They died never even acknowledging what they'd done
And then she met my pops her fate was already spun
He moved her up out the trailer and that was where they begun
Changed her life, gave her a daughter then had a son
Vowed to keep her safe she had nowhere she could rain
And then one day after the smoke had filled up his lungs
He lost half his hand at work in an accident
Got introduced to the Oxycontin to numb
Then started getting high with my sister, my mom was done
Realizing that he had tossed it all he was stunned
The heaviness of his sins was weighing on him a ton
4/20 I left to school to roll me a blunt
He went upstairs, said his goodbyes with a smoking gun
See me and drugs got such a painful way we entangle
We try to dance round with the devil and twist our ankle
I try to take a look at my life from different angles
But seems like everybody I love leave me for angels
For making music and having fans I'm more than thankful
I toured around the country, got reasons I should be grateful
But every time I did drugs with them I felt shameful
Knowing this the reason my momma suffer
Losing everybody that she love to downers and uppers
Never strong enough to kick it for her I gotta be tougher
Vowed to never take you through the rain or ever end up the same
Before I die, you gonna be proud of me mother
I love you

Sorry momma
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
I only wanna see you smile
You know that I am sorry momma
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
I only wanna see you smile