Delirium Tremens

(album: Live At The Point - 1994)

I dreamt a dream the other night I couldn't sleep a wink
The rats were trying to count the sheep and I was off the drink
There were footsteps in the parlour and voices on the stairs
I was climbing up the walls and moving round the chairs
I looked out from under the blanket up at the fireplace
The Pope and John F. Kennedy were staring in me face
Suddenly it dawned at me I was getting the old D.T.s
When the Child o' Prague began to dance around the mantlepiece

Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to the Vodka and the Stag
To the Schmiddick and the Harpic, the bottled draught and keg
As I sat looking up the Guinness ad I could never figure out
How your man stayed up on the surfboard after 14 pints of stout

Well I swore upon the bible I'd never touch a drop
My heart was palpitating I was sure 'twas going to stop
Thinking I was dying I gave my soul to God to keep
A tenner to St. Anthony to help me get some sleep
I fell into an awful nightmare, got a dreadful shock
When I dreamt there was no Duty-free at the airport down in Knock
George Seawright was saying the rosary and SPUC were on the pill
Frank Patterson was gargled and he singing Spancil Hill

Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to the Vodka and the Stag
To the Schmiddick and the Harpic, the bottled draught and keg
As I sat looking up the Guinness ad I could never figure out
How your man stayed up on the surfboard after 14 pints of stout

I dreamt that Mr. Haughey had recaptured Crossmaglen
Then Garret got re-elected and gave it back again
Dick Spring and Roger Casement were on board the Marita-Ann
As she sailed into Fenit they were singing Banna Strand
I dreamt Archbishop McNamara was on Spike Island for 3 nights
Having been arrested for supporting Traveller's rights
I dreamt that Ruairi Quinn was smoking marijuana in the Dail
Barry Desmond handing Frenchies out to scuts in Fianna Fail

Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to the Vodka and the Stag
To the Schmiddick and the Harpic, the bottled draught and keg
As I sat looking up the Guinness ad I could never figure out
How your man stayed up on the surfboard after 14 pints of stout

I dreamt of Nell McCafferty and Mary Kenny too
The things that we got up to, but I'm not telling you
I dreamt I was in a jacuzzi along with Alice Glenn
Then I knew I'd never ever, ever drink again

Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to the Vodka and the Stag
To the Schmiddick and the Harpic, the bottled draught and keg
As I sat looking up the Guinness ad I could never figure out
How your man stayed up on the surfboard after 14 pints of stout
...