Church (Intro)

(album: There Goes The Neighborhood - 2011)

Welcome, welcome! All you ninjas!
Come on in and make some room
Move on over, now!
Go watch out for the baby head!
The baby... You about to head the baby in the head..
Why you gotta take up both seats?
Just move on over!
Lets start the show
We have a special guest tonight... He goes by the name of Chris Webby
Now, this you man, hails from Connecticut
After six mixtapes
After half a million dollars
After 20 million YouTube views
Countless sold out shows
And many a satisfied fan!
All you ninjas, give a warm welcome to your... Chris Webby

You see I'm buzzing now
Shovel in hand I dug from the underground
Lyrical artillery loaded with forty-dozen rounds
They used to run they mouth
Shit, they Daffy Ducking now!
Came out spitting
First photo shoot was my ultrasound
Throwing up my middle fingers in my Mother's uterus
Spitting fire off of the top
Mount Vesuvius
Always caught disturbing the peace
They said I was Ludacris
Crazy, unpredictable, nutty, but never stupid, bitch
Smart guy like Taj Mauer eating pot brownies
On the run for killing beats 'till the fucking cops found me
On the loose again
Apple juice and gin
Out manouvering my enemies
Leave 'em with sutures in
Cut 'em up
Cause my flow is sharper than Excalibur
Maximus, Decimus, Maridius to these challengers
Gladiator in the flesh
Swinging for your fucking neck
Slicing up these beats
While you bitches can even cut a check
Up next, final stop, success, like…

Now hold on, now hold up, hold on now, hold on...
You gots to teach these boys how to rap..
Cause what these boys out here is doing, is not rap. It's wack
You got to show them the multi-syllable schemes
You got to show them the air-tight flow
You got to show them, them punchlines
Now get on in there and do your thing, son!

Everything I do, I do it with heart
Werewolf with a full moon in the dark
Tear a fucking human apart
I'm stupidly smart
Started on the east
But my music made a westward expansion something like Lewis and Clark
Climbing up the musical charts
And me falling off?
That's like Bullseye from Daredevil losing at darts
I'm just a crazy motherfucker
Who was bred to be a monster, since the eighties motherfucker
I'm lyrically inclined
Put my spirit in my rhymes
Veins pumping hip-hop
You can hear it in my lines
Rolling with a bunch of goons
Everyday we grinding on
And we All Spark
You can catch me up on Cybertron
I am on everything
Bad Meets Evil-er
That's just how the cookie crumbles
Motherfucking Keebler!
Mark my teachers words
They told me that I should be mature
But now that my pockets beefed up
I'm never going vegan, sir
Grinding 'till the fucking day I stop breathing
Word