Nightmare

(album: Psycho Therapy - 2020)

Why do you seem so scared?
All I want to do is play with you
Please come and play with me
Do you wanna play hide and seek?
You hide, and I'll find you

'Cause I'm living in a nightmare
Living in a nightmare
These walls closing in
I feel it from within
Is there anybody out there
I'm living in a nightmare

Oh hi, this is my mind
How rude of me wanna come inside
Sorry for the mess, I don't got the time
To clean it all up or to take it outside
We can take it outside I'll be fighting for my mind
Wait, no I won't 'cause my therapist described
If I fight against you, then I fight against me
And I'll never ever win all I do is waste time
So just go ahead, you could throw a hit
You set the bar to high can you lower it
I can't reach it and everybody notices
That I got a real hard time getting over shit
Maybe that's true, but maybe that's you
Always taunt me and you tell me what to do
Telling me to fight or you telling me to run
I don't wanna run away from myself like you

My anxiety building I'm scared of my shadows they shadow my pain
They put happy inside of my pills when I told them I'm sad and insane
But the happy don't work, it feels so unnatural it battles my brain
And life ain't the same

Cause I'm living in a nightmare
Living in a nightmare
These walls closing in
I feel it from within
Is there anybody out there
I'm living in a nightmare

Whoa what? Is that me in the mirror
I need to clean this glass so I can see a little clearer
What the hell happened? That's you man what do you mean
There's no way that this man staring back is me
When I get so big? Where'd my hairline go?
You've always looked like this, wait you ain't even know
What you think? That every time that someone left you that they left for reasons
On their own just picked their bags up and they hit the road
No, I don't mean to be the one to go and burst your bubble
But I care enough about you to make sure this hurt is subtle
I'm about to dig so deep that we can't reach it with a shovel
Other people see your flaws but you're just peeking through a tunnel
And I hate to break it to you but your raps ain't the greatest
I kinda laugh that you think you're even half way to famous
Your career? Well, it's sitting still like it was stainless
And your music hurt so many ears you'd think that we were sadists
But don't worry man I got you, that's what I'm here for
To catch you when you fall and bring you down some more
What, you don't like that? Shit too bad
Life ain't shit so cry to your mic and pad
Right Crypt right
It's the only time you make hits
Right Crypt right
I wanna hear that fucking page flip
Right bitch right
Yeah I know this shit ain't fair
You said music was a dream but this dream is a nightmare

'Cause I'm living in a nightmare
Living in a nightmare
These walls closing in
I feel it from within
Is there anybody out there
I'm living in a nightmare

Would you rather be alone or afraid
Would you rather be disowned or betrayed
Would you rather be a rapper that was planted
Or an independent artist with a road that he paved
That's what I ask myself like, hey CHVSE who would you prefer
Adam and eve, the snake on the tree, me, Jesus or Lucifer
Ha gotcha, all the same person
Got the same thoughts and we share the same purpose
Earth is nothing but a hell on a surface
Hey doc, medication ain't working
Said I ain't a wordsmith pick apart the verses
Fuck a punchline I'm writing therapy in cursive
Just so I can work with concerts and agents and fans
'Cause being in a crowd makes me nervous
And that's so ironic I laugh
Cause that's what you do when you rap
You write out your feelings on records
Then tour it to sell it and meet all your fans
Maybe I'm scared of my past
Or maybe I'm nervous of you
But either way I hate what I'm turning into

'Cause I'm living in a nightmare
Living in a nightmare
These walls closing in
I feel it from within
Is there anybody out there
I'm living in a nightmare