You're Not Here

(album: Ch. 1 Vs. 1 - 2021)

I wish you knew the person I am
The way I hold my heart in my hands
The way I sing like it's the air that I breathe
People say it's everything

I whistle still, crack my knuckles too
Cause these are the two things you, you taught me to do
They get on my mother's nerves, maybe cause I learned it from you
I hope one day there's more for me to choose
Until that day I wish this to be true

When I run, I'm running to your arms
And when I sing, I'm singing to your heart
I feel you near in my moments of fear
But when I open up my eyes I see it clear
It's only in my dreams that you are here
You're not here

Did you know I dropped out of school
Nineteen years old with a whole lot to prove
Carried on through my doubts
All to figure out
Who I was meant to be

Ten years later
Twenty nine years old
Got my poor heart broken
Did it over the phone
Was in a hotel room
And I was all alone
I was alone

I wanted to run, run into your arms
And cry while you held me to your heart
Feel you near in my moment of fear
But I opened up my eyes and wiped the tears
It was only in my dreams that you were here

And now you're missing out
On how I get to live the life that I forever and a day had dreamed about
And it's a shame you won't be there for the joy I've yet to share
Because in spite of you I'm here oh yes I'm here
And I'm in love and it's for real and you'll never get to meet them
But I truly hope you're happy where you are
It's unfortunate we end before we start
I hope you know I'll always love you from afar
But I can't ignore the part

That wants to run, run into your arms
And sing until it pierces through your heart
Feel you near in my moments of fear
I know that it's a dream, and you're not here
I'm holding onto dreams 'cause you're not here
You'll never be here