Lonesome Organist Rapes Page-Turner

(album: No, Virginia... - 2008)

He told me that I knew just what to laugh at
And I wanted to but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back so I could know for certain
So on the bench I watched his left hand crossing
While doubling entendres with the voicings
He said "oh darling, you're charming, please don't find it alarming
If I pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting"

Now there there
I'm a friendly man
I joke about sex because it's funny when you're frightened

So silently I sat and turned the pages
Recalculating our respective ages
Over my shoulder he muttered if I get any older
You can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects no I'm kidding

Don't be scared
I'm a friendly man
I joke about death because its funny when you're frightened

This is as far as I could get he jabbed a needle in my neck
Erasing all the evidence but there were matchsticks in my pants
And if a rock should hit my head and I remember what he did
You'll be there very first to know
Maybe I'll find out why this damn thing wont stop bleeding

He told me that I showed a great potential
That given I turned heads and pages fame would be a piece of cake but
Practice was essential
So like a stupid child I believed it
And golly who would ever had agreed if
I had been schubert or mozart
Devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential

Don't be sad I'll come back again
I joke about trash cause it takes class to be enlightened

So several decades have gone by
I am still sitting by his side
I turn the pages faithfully
He turns his head and smiles at me
And with a wink he said "I doubt
We would be anywhere without
Your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting"