Whiskey Thinks I Am

(album: Honkytonk Revival - 2021)

I'm a go-getter when my whistle is wetter
A genius in his prime
Anything you can do, I can do better
The DaVinci of my time
I have all of the answers to every problem
As long as they're not mine
When I become just half the man
That the whiskey thinks I am

Woke up, rinsed off
And put the eggs in the pan, put the coffee in the pot
Hopped in the van, and headed for the lot at work
"Hello, boss, how are you?
Know I'm five minutes late, that old interstate
Was blocked all the way on up to the avenues"
He said, "Son, no excuse"
Gonna give you the rest of the whole damn afternoon
You're fired"

So here I am, drink in my hand
Trying really hard to understand
Why I can't just be half the man
That the whiskey thinks I am

'Cause I'm a go-getter when my whistle is wetter
A genius in his prime
Anything you can do, I can do better
The DaVinci of my time
I have all of the answers to every problem
As long as they're not mine
When I become just half the man
That the whiskey thinks I am

Hello, darling, nice to see you
I stole that line from a Conway tune
But I don't mind if it helps me get closer to you
Please pour us a round
Put it all on my tab and fill up your glass
Feel free to add more when it gets low
Hey, I just lost my job
But I still got one last paycheck left to use
On you

So here I am, drink in my hand
Asking you all about your plans
Hoping that you'll see just half the man
That the whiskey thinks I am

'Cause I'm a go-getter when my whistle is wetter
A genius in his prime
Anything you can do, I can do better
The DaVinci of my time
I have all of the answers to every problem
As long as they're not mine
When I become just half the man
That the whiskey thinks I am, aw, tell 'em, Brent

'Cause I'm a go-getter when my whistle is wetter
A genius in his prime
Anything you can do, I can do better
The DaVinci of my time
I have all of the answers to every problem
As long as they're not mine
When I become just half the man
That the whiskey thinks I am

When I become just half the man
That the whiskey thinks I am

Aw, yeah
Tag it, yep