And I'm A Mormon

(album: Attack Of The Mountain Medley - 2012)

I'm best friends with Optimus Prime,
The godfather of the Cylon-Hybrid child,
I ride my bicycle to work,
And I've never been a jerk.
I've got a spare umbrella every time it's storming,
And I'm a Mormon.

Well when Luke went down to take out the Death Star,
He flipped that targetting computer on,
I was the voice inside his head saying
"Use the force instead,"
I taught Green Day to live without warning,
And I'm a Mormon.

Well your faith has been around for centuries,
But mine just put my family on TV,
Yeah I'm similar to you,
Just a little more improved,
Yeah the life I lead's the one you've always wanted,
And I'm a Mormon.

When it was looking like all hope was lost,
I captured all of Al-Qaeda inside a pokeball.
Yeah this might be big of me,
Man I love polygamy,
Oh I really wish that kind of thing was normal,
'Cause I'm a Mormon.

And when aliens invaded the planet,
And we didn't know if we would survive,
It was Will Smith and me fighting for humanity,
Yeah our popup ads are anything but boring,
And I'm a Mormon.

Well your faith has been around for centuries,
But mine just put my family on TV,
Yeah I'm similar to you,
Just a little more improved,
Yeah the life I lead's the one you've always wanted,
And I'm a Mormon.

I'm just as middle class and happy as can be,
Maybe you've seen my commercials on TV,
Having faith is so much fun,
Yeah I'm telling everyone that if having your own planet is important,
Become a Mormon.

Well your faith has been around for centuries,
But mine just put my family on TV,
Oh if he could just see me,
Joseph Smith would be tickled pink,
I wake up to a new wife every morning,
And I'm a Mormon.