Deja Vu

(album: Relapse - 2009)

[Spoken introduction:]
D.M.C. we have a mid 30s male
Found down unresponsive
Possible over dose
Substance unknown
Pulse is 60 and thready
Respiration's 8 he's intubated
And we're bagging him now
Uuh B.P. 90 over palp
Patient cool pale and diaphoretic
Has aspirated
Uuh G.S.C. is 3
We'll update en route
E.T.A. 10 minutes

As I fall deeper into a manic state
I'm a prime candidate for the gene to receive the drug addict trait
Blood pressure climbs at a dramatic rate
I seem to gravitate to the bottle of NyQuil then I salivate
Start off with the NyQuil like I think I'll just have a taste
Couple of sips of that then I gradually graduate
To a harder prescription drug called Valium like ya that's great
I go to take just one and I end up like having eight
Now I need something in my stomach cause I haven't ate
Maybe I'll grab a plate of nachos and I'll have a steak
And you'd think with all I have at stake
Look at my daughter's face... "Mommy, something is wrong with dad, I think.
He's acting weird again he's really beginning to scare me.
Won't shave his beard again and he pretends he doesn't hear me.
And all he does is eat dorritos and cheetos.
And he just fell asleep in his car eating three musketeers in the rear seat."

Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know,
Feels like I been down this road before.
So lonely and cold.
It's like something takes over me,
Soon as I go home and close the door.
Kinda feels like déjà vu.
I wanna get away from this place I do.
But I can't and I won't say I tried but I know that's a lie cause I don't
And why? I just don't know...

Maybe just a nice cold brew what's a beer
That's the devil in my ear I been sober a fucking year
And that fucker still talks to me he is all I can fucking hear
Marshall, come on, we'll watch the game it's the cowboys and buccaneers.
And maybe if I just drink half I'll be half buzzed for half of the time
Who's that mastermind behind that little line?
With that kind of rational man I got half a mind
To have another half of glass of wine sound asinine
Ya I know
But I never had no problem with alcohol
Ouch, look out for the wall aim for the couch I'm about to fall
I missed the couch and down I go looking like a bouncy ball
Shit must have knocked me out 'cause I ain't feel the ground at all
Wow, what the fuck happened last night, where am I?
Man fuck am I hungover and god damn I got a head ache
Shit half a Vicodin, why can't I?
"All systems ready for take off, please, stand by"

Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know,
Feels like I been down this road before,
So lonely and cold,
It's like something takes over me,
Soon as I go home and close the door,
Kinda feels like déjà vu.
I wanna get away from this place I do.
But I can't and I won't say I tried but I know that's a lie cause I don't
And why? I just don't know...

So I take a vicodin splash it hits my stomach and ah
A couple weeks go by it ain't even like I'm getting high
Now I need it just not to feel sick ya I'm getting by
Wouldn't even be taking this shit if deshaun didn't die
Oh ya there's an excuse you lose proof so you use
There's new rules it's cool if it's helping you to get through
It's twelve noon ain't no harm in self inducing a snooze
What else is new? Fuck it, what would Elvis do in your shoes?
Now here I am three months later full blown relapse
Just get high until the kids get home from school homes relax
And since I'm convinced that I'm insomniac I need these pills to be able to sleep so I take 3 naps
Just to be able to function throughout the day let's see
That's an Ambien each nap how many Valium? Three.
And that will average out to about one good hours sleep
OK, so now you see the reason how come he
Has taken four years just to put out an album beat
See me and you we almost had the same outcome heath
Cause that Christmas you know the whole pneumonia thing
It was Bologna was it the methadone ya think
Or the hydrocodone you hide inside your pornos
Your VCR tape cases with you Ambient CR great places to hide ain't it
So you can lie to Hallie
I'm going beddy bye Whitney baby good night Alaina
Go in the room and shut the bedroom door and wake up in ambulance
They said they found me on the bathroom floor... Damn

Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know,
Feels like I been down this road before,
So lonely and cold,
It's like something takes over me,
Soon as I go home and close the door.
Kinda feels like déjà vu.
I wanna get away from this place I do.
But I can't and I won't say I tried but I know that's a lie cause I don't.
And why? I just don't know...