proud of me

(album: things that quicken the heart - 2018)

[familypet:]
What am I worth? I've been wondering
Since birth, have I done anything?
For what it's worth, I'd give everything
On this earth, to make you proud of me

Life is so long unless you die young
I'm 21 with this gun on my tongue
Mom, are you there?
Dad, are you proud?
Blood on my hands, call that a hand me down
Shaking at night
Crying alone
You're sleeping tight, safe in our home
These circumstances have got me so low
But this is the only way I've ever known

[Shinigami:]
High tides crashing under the moon tonight
And I know that nothing will be alright
And I hope that you get to see me shine
Before I'm at your grave crying out "goodbye"

I'm choking on words that I just can't describe
It's hard to lie when I look in your eyes
A shell of your former self
I know you're in need of help
Your health is declining as time passes by
I'm in denial and tensions are high
I just wanna know what went wrong
But I'm pretty sure this is my fault
The pills kill the pain within, they ease you inside
You're not the mother that sang lullabies to me
You give me anxiety
I know that this most likely just won't change
I guess it's better off this way

[Shinigami & familypet:]
High tides crashing under the moon tonight
And I know that nothing will be alright
And I hope that you get to see me shine
Before I'm at your grave crying out "goodbye"
High tides crashing under the moon tonight
And I know that nothing will be alright
And I hope that you get to see me shine
Before I'm at your grave crying out "goodbye"