Just Attention / patterns

(album: Forward / Slash - 2022)

Fuck you if you're the girl back home he's waiting on
Fuck whatever magic you possess
And fuck the way that I've got no idea what you look like
But I know your worst is better than my best

And fuck the way that he'll go home and he'll play the saint
And you won't ever hear about the girl from out of state
And fuck the way that it ends up being you that I hate instead of him

Fuck the way he claims this isn't about me
Fuck the fact that he said it when he was drunk
And fuck the way that it's still disappointing
When sexual attraction doesn't turn into like
And like doesn't turn into love

And fuck the way that I'm still gonna get on a plane
To go and visit that boy in another state
And fuck the way that it ends up being me that I hate
Instead of him

Cause we weren't even dating, and neither were they
So even if I wanted to, what could I say?
Oh, cause it's partially my fault for assuming I meant more to him
And I'll take some of the blame because I accepted the love he was willing to give
But that wasn't really love at all, just attention

Fuck the way this airline won't exchange or refund my ticket
Fuck the fact that self-respect means staying home
And fuck the way that he gets to play the game and ends up happy
While I lose two hundred dollars and I end up alone

And fuck the way that dignity hurts so bad
And that I have to lose something I never even had
And fuck the way it's the situation that I hate instead of him

He was planning to forget me while I was planning how to stay
He got drunk on distance cause distance made things feel safe
I was just some silly girl, I meant nothing to him
Convenience was the catalyst
And he swears to her it'll never happen again
Cause after all, we were just friends

No, we weren't even dating, and neither were they
So even if I wanted to, what could I say?

Oh, cause it's partially my fault for assuming I meant more to him
And I'll take some of the blame because I accepted the love he was willing to give
But that wasn't really love at all, just attention

Fuck the way that it took me writing this song
To figure out it was him I should've hated all along

I am good at noticing patterns
I have been hurt before
I tend to be overly cautious
Because people want me and then they get bored

So I build walls instead of bridges
I learn to protect myself
Cause every time I love someone
They always lose interest and find it in someone else

So I am good at noticing patterns
(I am good at noticing patterns, I am good at noticing patterns)
That's why I am good at noticing patterns