The Bouncer

(album: Coming To A Honky Tonk Near You - 2016)

I was out drinking with my buddies
Right after work, boots still muddy.
Did a shot then we shot the breeze,
Shot some pool, like we always do.
Everybody buying everybody rounds.
I didn't wanna be rude and turn 'em down.
Buzz on after 2 or 3, or maybe 3 or 4.
Didn't count no more 'cuz,

I was just there to drink
I was just minding my own bui-yee-i-isness
Can I get a wi-I-i-I-i-itness
I was just partying on,
Swear I wasn't doing nothing wrong.
Just kissed a waitress on the mouth,
Then the big bad bouncer threw me out.

Said he played defensive line
For Mississippi back in 1999
He didn't seem that scared of me,
When I showed a few, of my karr-até moves (hi-ya)
I'm not sure how far I travelled
Just know I landed face first in the gravel.
Got up and kicked him in the pork-n-beans
Dusted off and then, I ran right back in 'cuz

I was just there to drink
I was just minding my own bui-yee-i-isness
Can I get a wi-I-i-I-i-itness
I was just partying on,
Climbed up on the bar to sing my song,
Jumped off and surfed across the crowd,
Then the big bad bouncer threw me out.

I was just there to drink
I was just minding my own bui-yee-i-isness
Can I get a wi-I-i-I-i-itness
I was just partying on,
Swear I wasn't doin nothin wrong.
Just kissed another waitress on the mouth,
Jumped off the bar, surfed across crowd,
If I wadn't busy drinking woulda taken him down,
But the big bad bouncer threw me out.

"He better be glad I was in a good mood"
"Yeah I'll let it slide this time"