First Day Of The End Of My Life

(album: Everything Is Fine - 2018)

Jumping off 14th avenue tonight
Spill my regrets in the highway light
You might call me a coward
And they might call it a sin
But I'll never have to hear those words again

I took pills the doctors gave me for my brain
It's a chemical imbalance from what they know
But I never felt much different or the same
With the way I feel, I wouldn't even know

I said goodbye to both my mom and room
And I walked towards all the things I'll never do
I almost called my friends to see what all of them would say
But they never really answered anyway

Maybe someone else can use my eyes or heart
I thought about taking pills to buy them time
But I couldn't take the chance that I'd survive
With a new regret in the hospital light

I had a thousand different answers
When the problem's what I need
In a city lay in ruins, where the carpenters sleep
And the architect was digging through the ash
To find the plans they'll never need
At least not for me

So dear family, don't cry
I took years to find a meaningful and peaceful place to die
So I'll be fine

Sincerely
Caroline