Clarity

(album: I: The Arrow - 2018)

Sometimes you can just be in a funk creatively or you know, as a person and it's like there's a fog around you and you can't see out of it, but, that's part of the journey
Hm, patient, this beat done took its time
Well, then so do I

Look, uninspired, undefined
Now somebody's getting fired
Terrified, paralyzed, Twitter game verified
Married life, very fire
Understand I'm on demand
Undermanned the Son of Man or Son of Sam
Somewhere in between the two, the meaning too
Spend the evening, be with you
Oh I know, I need it too
Do I believe, believe I do
On my faith walk, took the cynic, I mean the scenic route
Get lost, I be aloof, Adidas on, still need the boost
What was the Eden fruit? I'll ask Him when I see Him
Daily bread, that's Paideim, but I'm fasting like a BM
Riding past ya in the P.M. in a stolen car, that's fleeing from the scene of a crime
Apollo Creed, in his prime
Rocky verses, I'm a person that's tryna believe I'm worth it
I'm working through it, but work is, well, work, but well worth it
It's hella churches still hell is working fine
What's that tell us, fellas hurting, it's like melanin a crime
That's the elephant we hide
Truthfully, we probably lied
Rather have a tribe than unity, so you and me divide
I'm hellish and divine
I'm trillest and divine
I'm telling me, "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm, I know better"

All I, all I want is clarity, clarity
'Cause all of my heroes are frauds just like me, just like me
So let every man be a liar, let only God be truth
And all of your heroes are frauds just like you

I can't see through that smoke in the air
That's the smoke in the air
That's that smoke in the air
All that smoke in the air

A mind of doubt is to keep you open to God's revelations
When you don't doubt, you don't change
If you have to have finite answers to infinite questions
Uh, you're not gonna move

Yeah, built my life on this (huh)
Half my adult life like unlearning
Lies that I heard in a dumb sermon
What I unearth got me uncertain
More knowledge and more sorrow
Worrying that never fixed tomorrow
Just take away all my strength today
It was black and white, not paved with gray
Maybe that cloud that I've been stuck in
I construct it, I conduct it
Orchestra of noise, I don't hate your voice
I done made a choice, mic assumption
A TV cabinet, tweeting, twerking, grand man, gaming, rapping, working
Fashion work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and
Can't tell if lost
My mind or just made it (lost)
My faith or misplaced it (lost)
My pain or upgraded
Lost my happy thought, then I got jaded (lost)
Focus in my direction (lost)
In details and perfection (lost)
All my faith in white Jesus and my leaders (found)
They aren't who I thought all these years (found)
They weren't even worthy of tears (found)
The opposite of faith ain't doubt
It's when I get it all figured out
Some days it get in all my trust
Some days I can feel so empty
Some days I feel like You love me
Some days I feel like You left me

The second I'm furious with God, I'm tumbling close
Because you cannot be furious with somebody who's not there

All I, all I want is clarity, clarity
'Cause all of my heroes are frauds just like me, just like me
So let every man be a liar, let only God be truth
And all of your heroes are frauds just like you

I can't see through that smoke in the air
That's the smoke in the air
That's that smoke in the air
All that smoke in the air
Through that smoke in the air
That's the smoke in the air
That's that smoke in the air
All that smoke in the air

I want God to wrap me in the everlasting wings and say "There there, it's alright"
And that cosmic affirmation of "Yes, I know it's terrible, I know it hurts, but be patient, it's gonna work out
I'm not gonna lose, I'm gonna win, it's alright."
And that's the, the, the basic affirmation that I think only true doubters can come to