Conversation With The Devil

(album: Crusades Of The Restless Knights - 1999)

I had a dream last night I was cast into hell by a jealous god
The devil walked up and said "You won't need no lightning rod
It hardly ever rains down here, I can't recall the last storm
You're not gonna need that leather jacket, it gets kinda warm
There's one way in, no way out, looks like you're here to stay
The place is a mess, it's over crowded and more are coming in every day"

I said, "Awe man, wait a minute, there's gotta be something wrong
I ain't a bad guy, I just write these little songs
I always pay my union dues, and I don't stay in the passing lane"
He said," What about all that whiskey and cocaine?"
I said, "Well, sure man, but that no reason to throw me in hell
I didn't use the cocaine to get high, I just liked the way it smelled"

He said "Come over here son let me show you around
Over there's where we put the preachers; I never liked those clowns
They're always blaming me for everything wrong under the sun
Its not harder to do what's right, its just maybe not as much fun
Then they walk around thinking they're better than me and you
And then they get caught in a motel room doing what they said not to do"

"Now all the murders and rapists go into a fiery lake
As well as most of the politicians and cops on the take
And all the mothers who wait till they get to K-Mart to spank their kids
Instead of showing them what to do they just hit them for what they did
And all the daddies who run off and abandon their daughters and sons
Anybody who hurts a child is gonna burn until they're done

"Every body's down here, I said, who's up in heaven with God and the son?"
"Oh, some saints and mystics and students of metaphysics 101
People who care and share and love and try to do what's right
Beautiful old souls who read little stories to their babies at bedtime every night
What you won't find up in heaven are Christian coalition right wing conservatives
Country program directors and Nashville record executives"

Now I said "I made some mistakes but I'm not as bad as those guys
How can God do this to me can't you sympathize?"
He said, "You're wrong about God being cruel and mean
God is the most loving thing that's never been seen"
"Well, hot shot," I said, "Tell me this which religion is the truest?"
"They're all about the same" he said " Buddha was not a Christian, but Jesus would have made a good Buddhist"

I thought about my future and I didn't seem to have much of one
Looked around to leave but there was no place to run
I said, "I don't suppose I could go back and try living again
You know like reincarnation, I hear that's the way it's always been"
"I can't answer that," he said "you'll have to wait for that response
But, it's not any more unusual to be born twice than it is to be born once"

It looked like I was gonna be stuck here as far as I could tell
I thought I might as well suck up, what the hell
I said, "You know that song that Charlie Daniel's did
About how you went down to Georgia and played fiddle against that kid?"
"Yeah", he said "It broke my heart, but what are you gonna do?"
"Well, to tell you the truth I thought your solo was the better of the two"

Then I woke up and I was lying in my bed
I ran up the stairs and kissed my little boy on his sleeping head
Well, I took this dream as a sign from God so I thought I better pray
I said, "Don't ever speak to me directly and thanks anyway"
Now so much has changed about me besides just giving up red meat
Some get spiritual cause they see the light and some cause they feel the heat