3 Rings

(album: Riddle Box - 1995)

[ring]
"Hello?"
"You have a collect call from 'woohoo!'
Please answer the following question "yes", or "no",
Will you pay for the call?"

"Is this on?"

"Gather round my wealthy friends
And endure the horrifying sights
Only your worst nightmares can produce
Actual human beings of a deformed nature
Come at once
And come and indulge yourself
In our own twisted amusement of
Another's misfortune
Yes, ladies and gentlemen
Enter our three ring show of freaks"

[Violent J]
Ring one, a dung a dung dung
My name's Violent J and I staple my tongue
To the desk in school then I run down the hall
Scaring the shit out of all y'all bitches
Which is why you don't invite mine to your parties
Just 'cause I don't look like everybody
I guess they're bunch of rich boys, bitch boys
Scary, bula!
And what's the big deal about my neck
Just because now and then I like to let it stretch
Up a couple feet to get a better sight
Is that any reason to scream and run in fright
No, so, now how ya gonna act?
So what if I got another arm growing out of my back
I guess I'm just another freak show thing
And now they got me in the three ri-ii-ii-ing

[Chorus (2x):]
Three ring a ding a ding ding
People love to point and stare
Three ring a ding a ding ding
It's the same as everywhere

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Ring two, how do you do?
I'm Shaggy 2 Dope, chicken-faced bitch, who?
You don't try to front ho
Try to play me out just 'cause I'm running with the sideshow
So maybe it's the leg growing out my neck
But don't jet baby, heh, not yet
I'm popping in like a pound of lead
Black n blue, his next roll and drop me on my head
Oh shit, I knew I had to fuck up my circuits
'cause when I was two my momma left me at the circus
Abandoned at the carnival with the freak shows
Like bad boys, hermaphrodites and old man crow
But then I escaped to the ghetto zone
Started a crew of my own, motherfucker, I'm not alone
So don't be sticking your finger in my face stank
Or your stomach might receive a shank from the 3 ring freak

[Chorus (2x)]

"I certainly hope your enjoy yourselves
Here at our three ring exhibit
But to be honest I really don't see
What's so fucking funny about it
These fucking people are real!"

[Violent J]
Ring three, the ICP
Look if you want but I wouldn't lay a hand on me
That's how you get fucked up
We'll squeeze your windpipe shut
Yo, I'm a nerd word, I drink "Thunderbird"
Have Snake woman kick my love to the curb
She busted into my tent, now I'm fucked
Had the fat bearded lady in the buck, uh
Fuck that, bitch, suck that
I was born with a wang but I never had a nut sac
Just two balls hanging with no protection so
I move real careful and slow
You can call me a weirdo, call me a freak
Call me Don Knotts 'cause I'm getting on it every week, uh
So come see the carnival and threw me your change, bitch
I chill with the three rings

[Chorus(2x)]

"Well, that's it
I hope you're satisfied
I hope you had a good time
You fucking heartless bastards
You saw what you wanted
So grab your fucking kids
And that fat flop of shit wife of yours
And get the fuck out of our circus tent
You cold-hearted sons of bitches
You think they look fucked up
Just wait till I kick your
Fucking lips in a couple times
You'll be sitting up here like a bitch
And we'll laughing at your folded ass
They'll call you lumpy
After I done put knots
All over your fucking forehead
Yeah, hey, hey little boy, come here
How'd you like it if I tied your neck in a knot
You fucking little bitch
Come here, I'll shove that
Fucking corn dog up your ass
Get the fuck out of here
Show's fucking over
Get the fuck out of here
You fucking heartless bastards"