Pigeon Man

(album: The Truth About Dolls - 2012)

Ever since I cracked my egg
Ever since I was a squab
People been jacking nickels
Jacking nickels from couch cushions
That's why my fluff
That's why my feathers tousled

See my eyes?

They wasn't born like this
No they was born gray
Like my brothers'
But the smoke!, the smoke
Turned 'em orange

People been littering in my house
Sunflower seed scabs fall off
Their plastic fingers. French fries
Hot dog buns, granola crumbs:
That's my breakfast
That's my breakfast!

But this, this is my house
That spot you're sitting in right now?
I've shat in that spot five times
Five times that spot was my bathroom
Before you sat there

It's still gonna be my bathroom after

You ever seen a pigeon ass up close?
Jackson Pollock ain't got shit on my ass
I dropped a mural in the foyer
I call it my Fowl Welcome Mat

Speaking of ass
You ever seen a pigeon man
Sweet talk a lady?
Our whole necks swell up
Like a sparkly indigo scrotum
Balloon, and they run
Away

That's how we know they like it

We watch their scaly pink legs scuttle past
Bouncing like bubble gum
Red noodles the color of flamingo sex
So we say

"Nice legs!"

It's a compliment
But pigeon ladies wouldn't know
A bouquet from a dandelion
A mirror from a clean glass window
If it hit 'em in the nose

You know how ladies are:
Finicky feathers, walking around
Beaks in the air all offended
Like they ain't strut past
My burnt cantaloupe eyes on purpose

Speaking of strutting
Somebody put a boot in my spleen

Yesterday somebody put their boot
In my spleen, like I was a soda can
Or a rock, or piece of shit

But this is my house
Know what I'm saying?
I live here. This is my I'm not a football
I live here, people should see me

See my eyes?

They wasn't born like this
My eyes were the color of clean cement
Before people with their smoke
In my house turned my eyes to this
Tangerine mush so when I say
"Hello!"
Ladies roll their eyes away like silver
Marbles like I'm contagious or-or
Invisible so I say

"Hey! You!
Sweety pie!
You look good!
Nice legs!
Fine, sexy legs!
Nice thighs!
I see you!"

And they run away
So I chase. I say
"Hey, wait
I ain't mean that
In a bad way, baby
Come on

Look at my apricot cellulite eyes
My dirty couch chest, look, look
At my city shit feathers, look
How shiny nickel ball blue
I make my neck swell up just for you
Baby

Just for you"