One Thing

I'm finally vaccinated, I can barely believe it
We're not through it just yet but we're beginning to see the light
They're saying I can go outside, get back to my regular life
It's a miracle, I'm so grateful we're getting to the other side

But as we turn the corner there's something I'm ashamed to admit
There's one thing about the pandemic I am going to miss

I'm gonna miss having the best excuse
To not have to hang out with my annoying friend Todd
I'm gonna miss being able to say, "Dude
I wish we could kick it but the government says we cannot"
On top of it, I lied and told him over and over
That I couldn't wait for this whole thing to be over
So we could get together and finally hang out
And now that we're both vaccinate that time is now

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, what a privilege to be vaccinate
But he still quotes Austin Powers all the time, need I say more?
He only buys jeans with holes in them, his favorite movie is 300
And he's always giving shitty advice you didn't ask for
(I'm not doing so well, I really miss my dog, dude
You know what would help? Paleo diet)

Again, I'm so grateful we're finally getting through this
But he like references Reservoir Dogs to justify why he never tips
(It's like what Mr. Pink says
Why should I tip just because society tells me I have to?
Oh, Jesus Christ)

I'm gonna miss having the best excuse
To not have to hang out with my annoying friend Todd
I'm gonna miss being able to say, "Dude
I wish we could kick it but the government says we cannot"

What a beautiful gift in the end
To have the luxury to once again
Be really fucking annoyed
By our friends