Grubby

(album: Let Them Eat Chaos - 2016)

[Intro]
Up the stairwell: chip-fat grey and London green with damp
Out on the fifth floor, where the wind grips your jaw
And holds you in its clamp
There's a red door, bordered by mottled glass
And inside
A lighted lamp

Pious lives here

Pious is tired but can't sleep, she twitches. Wired
She lies beside a sleeping body, a girl she barely knows
She met her in the pub
And it went the way it goes
The girl's name is Rose
But Pious is lovesick for her Thorn
She left her in the summer
And since then Pious can't get warm
She's carried her, stuck in her side, since the day that she was born
She dreamed of her and knew her shape
Long before she saw her form

Well, it's 4:18, and Pious
Has been staring at the blinds for hours
She tells herself it's all her fault
She doesn't love
She just devours


[Verse 1]
Can't sleep
So much to do
Tryna get closer to you
And you're so far away
Tryna get hold of what's true
And what's true isn't true when it's day
Tell me, how can I sleep?
Got so much to do
I'm trying to get closer to you
And you're so far away
All that I say and I do are things that you do and you say
How come I'm becoming the one that I'm running from, hunted by?
Slurring my words in the pub
Feeling nervous and overexcited
Arms round the waist of a girl who might make it alright for a night
Yeah, she tears me to pieces
Then I lie beside her, awake while she sleeps
And I feel much closer to you than I felt when you were still here
Spill beer till you reappear

[Hook]
I'm thinking of you
And the things you do to me
I'm thinking of you
And the things you do to me

[Verse 2]
Pain in my liver
OK
Shame. So much shame
Can't bear my frame
Can't bear your name
OK
Can't bear this game
Let's play
New rules
Old rituals
Guilt trip
Heartstrings snap
Want to, can't go back
Too much
Not enough
I can't get your claws out of my guts

[Hook]
I'm thinking of you
And the things you do to me
I'm thinking of you
And the things you do to me

[Verse 3]
This is my mind
GETOUTOFIT
You didn't want it
How come you're still hanging around in it?
This is my body LETGOOFIT
You didn't want it
How come you're still fucking controlling it?
This is my night. Get lost in it
This is my bridge. Stop crossing it
This is my face, stop smiling
This is my space
You been gone so long
How come I still find you hiding?
Fighting me
I'm fighting my darkest parts
I'm frightened
Nightmares
Tighten my hands round my own throat
'Cause you're the snake charmer and I'm the old rope
No hope
Just go now please, just leave
Still in the air that I breathe
I'm stranded
Arms outstretched for a body
Any body
Here's a body
But I wake up and I can't stand 'em
I feel so grubby
Don't want can't stop just love me
Breath like a cigarette stubbed in the gutter
Come close, no wait don't touch me
Ugly
Push and pull phonecall beep beep looking through names for the one that feels most dangerous
I can't believe you're in love again
I can't open my heart to anybody but strangers

[Hook]
I'm thinking of you
And the things you do to me
I'm thinking of you
And the things you do to me

[Hook]
I'm thinking of you
And the things you do to me
I'm thinking of you
And the things you do to me