Teddy Picker

(album: Favourite Worst Nightmare - 2007)

They've sped up to the point where they provoke
The punch-line before they have told the joke
Plenty of desperation to be seen
Staring at the television screen

They've sped up to the point where they provoke you
To tell the fucking punch-line before you have told the joke
"Sorry, sunshine, it doesn't exist
It wasn't in the top 100 list."

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
They told you, but you were dying for it

Saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed
The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means
Another variation on a theme
A tangle on the television and a magazine
D'you reckon that they do it for a joke?
D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath?
That says that we are defenders
Of any poser or professional pretender around

When did your list
Replace the twist and turn as a fist
Replaced the kiss?
Don't concern us with your bollocks
I don't want your prayer
Save it for the morning after

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
They told you, but you were gagging for it

Let's have a game on the teddy picker
Not quick enough, can I have it quicker?
Already thick, and you're getting thicker
Let's have a game on the teddy picker
Not quick enough, can I have it quicker?
Already thick, and you're getting thicker

Assuming that all things are equal?
Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you?