Hurt

(album: Nevers Road - 2019)

It doesn't feel right with you gone
It hurts too much to be left alone
I know I was never in your plans
But it doesn't feel right in her bed
It hurts too much

Yeah! If only I knew, to love you I would lose me
Or wake up just to go back asleep
I hope you and him live happily
But the memories, girl, you gon' have to keep
All the lies that you told me are on repeat
I don't know what's real, you lied through your teeth
If I could take the feelings that I have for you
Just like our pics, I'd press delete
I've been contemplating a hundred times
About a hundred facts I found out were lies
I know you used me just to pass the time
But you could never say I didn't fucking try
What you meant to me is what I mean to art
Was real with you from the fucking start
You played games with my fucking heart
And after you I fell a-fuckin'-part, damn
I know we weren't perfect
I guess I thought we were worth it
I guess your love was uncertain, you're busy at the club flirting
Friends just keep feeding you bourbon
Car smelling like his cologne and your weed
For months I would think, "Is he better than me?"
I know that he can't love you better than me
I wonder was it your intention to cheat?
Can't believe I believed you
Keep telling myself I don't need you
When talking to her I just see you
Alone, but surrounded by people
Maybe one day you'll change and he'll reap the benefits
'Cause all you left me were questions and pain
Don't know why I care if you're feeling the same
I need to just get you up out of my brain (It hurts to know)

I know I was never the plan
You're not the you you would claim
You're not the person I met
Don't know the you you became
Was addicted though to the pain
And the constant games that you play
Just being real when I say that still (It hurts to know)
And I tried to give you a chance
But things were never the same
I ended up all alone
You ended up with a lame
Was addicted though to the pain
And the constant games that you play
Just being real when I say that still (It hurts to know)

It doesn't feel right with you gone (Gone, gone)
It hurts too much to be left alone ('Lone, 'lone)
I know I was never in your plans (Plans, plans)
But it doesn't feel right in her bed (Bed, bed)
It hurts to know

Still, you're who my family adores
Maybe that's why it's hard to ignore you
After all of the time that we spent
Sad to think that I still didn't know you
Woke up in a city that we've never been to
I wish I could show you
Even my music, I put it below you
Just know I would have done anything for you (It hurts to know)
Remember I told you I felt inadequate
Because you came from a family with money
And me, I have nothing, I work as a waiter
With visions of turning myself into something
The music was buzzing, but I couldn't pay for a bill
Off of people just saying they love it
Had class in the morning, had work in the evening
Then right through the night with no food in my stomach
Just know that it's hard
Damn, girl, it's so fucking hard
I keep telling myself that I need to move on
But it's hard to get close when you haven't been gone
I know everything changed, the old me will prolly
Feel shamed for the bottles I've bought on my card
You would go to the bar while I was stuck working the double
To pay for the tank on my car
And I guess that it's best I pretend like I don't give a fuck
Even though to be real I'm a mess
I've been trying to find anything I can find
Just to fill in the hole in my chest
And it's sad to belive that a picture with me
Is a picture of you and an ex
You should know that it takes everything within me
To delete when I'm sending you text, like

It doesn't feel right with you gone
It hurts too much to be left alone (It hurts to know)
I know I was never in your plans (It hurts to know)
And I ain't just can't get you out my head
It hurts to know