How Should I Feel

(album: If You Don't Like The Story Write Your Own - 2022)

[Meg & Dia:]
Monster, how should I feel?
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows
Monster, there are voices
In the darkness
And they say they won't go

[Witt Lowry:]
(Yeah)
Stare long enough at the abyss and it seems to start to stare back at you
Lost inside my head, it's a scary place I've adapted to
Friends and family call and I tell 'em that "I'll get back to you"
Too busy on my phone, doom-scrolling, spent the afternoon
Stressed out, head down, can barely leave my bed now
I hate these fucking feelin's, they tell me to try these meds out
But doc, we've only talked for like ten minutes, I'm sketched out
Paranoid, can't tell if these people are foes or friends now
You know what it feels like to feel like nobody can help?
On top of that feel like you're losing yourself
I wouldn't even wish my enemies the hand I was dealt
Thought I could pay the pain to fade with some material wealth
But tears falling in the Tesla, I guess it's kind of ironic
To feel so fucking broke inside something I always wanted
My demons came to play, it feels like my brain may be haunted
Hate myself sometimes as much as they hate on me to be honest
I saw fentanyl take the life away from my cousin
I watched alcohol steal the life away from my dad
I came from nothing, now I'm scared that might be what I'm becoming
Look in the mirror, barely recognize the one looking back, so

[Meg & Dia:]
Monster, how should I feel?
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows
Monster, there are voices
In the darkness
And they say they won't go

[Witt Lowry:]
Wrote a song when my dad passed and they said it was trash
That made me wish that I put less of myself into every track
I know you can't just burn the orchard when one apple is bad
But the fact of the matter is that I feel I'm starting to crack
And they say "Don't take it to heart," well how the fuck do I not?
When I put my soul inside something and they say it's a flop
Constantly tear my art apart when this is all that I got
They wanna see me on a stage or me left in a grave to rot
I've been overstressing 'bout overstressing
I lie in bed and think about this life I manifested
Yet my depression's always yelling that I'm destined for regression
Sad obsession with progression, still they think that I'm just desperate for attention
Broke down about around this time, just last fall
At therapy telling my therapist I feel so small
Pushed everyone I love away, and fuck, it's all my fault
Is it better to feel like this or to feel nothing at all?
I turn the lights down lonely
Remember back when we would cash in cans at the grocery?
Weren't there when I was drowning but the first to say "You know me"
So sick of people saying that they care and never show me
My grandpa once told me that inside an empty mind is where the devil likes to play
And everyday it's all the same, I just stare at an empty page
Ruminate about all the things that have piled up on my plate
Time I take control of my brain, know I can't just pray this away, so

[Meg & Dia:]
Monster, how should I feel?
Creatures lie here
Looking through the windows
Monster, there are voices
In the darkness
And they say they won't go

(Through the windows)
Monster, there are voices
In the darkness
And they say they won't go