Fxcked Up

(album: If You Don't Like The Story Write Your Own - 2022)

(For the first time, for the first time)
Listen

My heart is breaking, maybe I lack the patience
But how if all your vices now become my obligation?
With every sip you take, you change, and damn, I fucking hate it
Might take every bottle in this motherfucking house and break it
I can't take it, as you've become a slave to something faceless
You always say you'll change, yeah, you always say the same shit
How could someone so wise become so equally complacent?
You're about to lose it all, do you not care enough to save it, motherfucker?
I'm sorry, damn, it's been a long day
But think about it, have you ever asked if I was okay?
You see, your problems create problems and you drink 'em away
It's not until you sober up enough that that's when you say, hey

I fucked up again
Slept in all of my clothes
For the first time in a while (For the first time, for the first time)
I fucked up again
Broke down and lost all control
For the first time in a while (For the first time, for the first time)
(Yeah)

You wasted years getting wasted, don't need your sorry, just save it
You think I can't tell you're faded? Don't mean to be so abrasive
I know you have a disease and that you're just scared to face it
Don't mean to make this 'bout me, but can't you see why I'm jaded?
I miss the you you are when you're sober
You've added years to your face
And not just because you're getting older
But 'cause you drank and you drank
It feels like the world's on your shoulders
You carry all of its weight
And the doctor's said you're bipolar
And you think there's been a mistake
And I know, I'm not your brain, it's not my place to tell you what is real
All that I can do is try to tell you how I fucking feel
Stuck by you through it all, no, never questioned if I loved you still
The greatest gift that you could ever give me is to fucking heal
I never would've thought you'd let the liquor ruin your life
You drink when everything is wrong, you drink when everything is right
Not here to downplay all your pain or all the demons that you fight
But over family and friends, how could you pick a vodka sprite?
Another night, another lie, you try to hide it, I can tell
You're drunk again, 'cause on your breath, the alcohol is all I smell
We only have this life to live, why would you choose to live in Hell?
If you won't get sober for me, at least just do it for yourself
Damn, I feel you fading away
I never let you hit rock bottom, maybe that's what it takes
For you to finally put the bottle down before it's too late
It's not until you sober up enough that that's when you say, hey

I fucked up again
Slept in all of my clothes
For the first time in a while (For the first time, for the first time)
I fucked up again
Broke down and lost all control
For the first time in a while (For the first time, for the first time)