How Not To Write A Slayer Song

(album: 22 Concepts (But A Hit Definitely Still Ain't One) - 2015)

I've never journied through the heart of darkness
I guess I'm not a Heavy Metal maniac, in fact
If you wanted to know how to write a Thrash Metal anthem
You'd be better off just texting Kerry King and ask him
I see this life through rose tinted glasses
I wouldn't know where to begin to kick the asses
Of the head-banging masses
But I could tell you, how not to write a Slayer song
And sing about

Bunnies, Kitties, Lemonade
I guess we'll just get sundae's
Strolling by a park or lake
And skating hand in hand
Mini golfing, BFF's, selfies, naps and Taylor Swift
And helping with the elderly
When they can't cross the street
That's how not to
Write a Slayer song

When it comes to old school rap my knowledge is extensive
My cartoon album art is merely shocking or offensive
I don't rhyme about the Holocaust or even 9/11
Because every time you mention, the big four
I'm like "You mean the Ninja Turtles?"
Girls shopping at Aleva and maybe he'll explain
How not to write, a Slayer song
Don't sing about

Table fights or panty hose
Miley Cyrus, Pizza Rolls
Teeny tiny take-out snacks
My Little Pony
Donating your time to charity to find help for kids

That's how not to
That's how not to
That's how not to
Write a Slayer song

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