Positive

(album: Home - 1994)

Make me, make me sweat
Til I'm wet, til I'm dry
But then wipe this tear from my eye
Haven't even felt this warm in a long time
Even out in the bright sunshine
In a lifetime of springtimes

I fall into your arms
With my heart pumping on
Like a bubbling dub track
Like a garlicy hot tongue and lip smack

I did some contemplation
Before we got down to this consecration
Or maybe baby something in your kiss said
It was an impetous
For me to rethink this

If I love you
Then I better get tested
Make sure we are protected

I walk through the park
Dressed like a question mark
Hark!
I hear my memory bark
In the back of my brain,
Makn' me insane...
...like cocaine

[Chorus]
But how'm I gonna live my life if I'm positive?
Is it gonna be a negative?
How'm I gonna live my life if I'm positive?
Is it gonna be a negative?
But how'm I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

Dawned on me, it seemed to me
That this is unusual scenery
This red light greenery
Make me feel kinda dreamery
Thinking how I used to be

Arrive at the clinic
And walk through the front door
I take a nervous number
Then I'm thinking some more
About all the time
That I neglected
Makin sure that
I was protected

They took my blood
With an anonymous number
Two weeks waiting wondering

I shoulda done this a long time ago
A lot of excuses why I couldn't go
I know these things and these things I must know
'cause it's better to know than to not know!

[Chorus]

I go home to kick it
In my apartment
I try to give myself
A risk assessment
The wait is what can really annoy ya
Every single day is more paranoya

I'm reading about how it gets transmitted
Some behavior I must admit it
With who I slept with, and who they slept with,
Who they, who they, who they slept with

When I think about life and immortality
What's the first thing I do if I'm H.I.V
I have a cry and tell my mother
Get on the phone and call my past lovers
I never thought about infecting anotha
The times that I said "Hmmm? Don't bother."

Was it really all that magic?
The times I didn't use a prophalactic

Would my whole life have to change?
Or my whole life remained the same?
Sometimes it makes me wanna shout!
All these things too hard to think about
A day to laugh, a day to cry
A day to live and a day to die
'til I find out, I may wonder
But I'm not gonna live my life six feet under

[Chorus]