if design dictates function, what am i?

If I could explain it, then I would
You know I would

And if I could explain it, then I would
I know I should

And if I could explain it, then I would
Oh I would

I wrote a lot of words that I never meant
Left my selfish tendencies encased inside of sediment
My regiment is endless
I'm the president of weathermen
So catch me on a rainy day with feathers in a weather brim
It ain't a mystery why history is myth to me
I watch the planet dwindle into entropy
My friends and me are listening to milo and a tree house made of toothpicks
Building toward the sky, we'll be swimming in that blue midst
Until we hit the sun, like a liquor scented Icarus
My wax wings are catching the flickering that finished it
The flames
Forgetting I'm the same as greek legends were
'Cause I'm looked back upon with a separate curve
That's the only reason I was ever passing classes
Sat back, having blasts, playing pokemon and laughing
And instructions from the substitute
Functioning as someone new
But nameless at the same
Hope that's enough for you

The sun

But nameless at the same
Hope that's enough for you
Blowing up my courage via self imposed substitutes

I feel like a frame, in which there sits a picture
Which resembles all the fixtures that I can visit through elixir
I'm not tripping, I'm not crazy, I'm not stepping out of line
I'm the only function circumventing it's design
And ignoring every law set in place in the past
I'm a jackson pollock painting in a plague doctor's mask
I'm an afrodesiac with a rather sleezy nack
For retaining information when it passes through my back
I'm a tip of a knife, in the grip of a vice
I'm weak, the old me is still invisioning life
From the barrier death creates, carrying the message late
This is but an ode to the precarious and second rate
This is but an overthought analysis of malice in society
Variety is quietly expiring
And I can see the ambien inclusion on my sides
Opening up the gates, before I open up my eyes
And see...

Open up my eyes, and wait till I fall back asleep
Back asleep

See, I stopped using a fake voice in rap. stop pretending that I was someone who is stronger than I am. stop phasilitating ego on a hunt for validation. and I somehow ended up exactly where I started, and exactly where I started is exactly where I am. in my room alone at four AM with nothing I can stand. I forgot the person who I used to be, he's in the past now, and I'm still waiting for the future