Skit

(album: Love.Live.Life - 2010)

[Dappy:]
I feel like a slag

Been sober for too long, it's time to get tipsy (Gone)
Don't mean if I buy you a drink now, come later, you're gonna lips me
Jook, girl, dagger, then dash it like a frisbee (Dash that)
Ayy, sexy, let me beat (Beat)
Tell your boyfriend "wait," cheat (Uh-huh)
I heard he MC's, is that true? (Uh) What's his name?
Fuck all these other funny guys, they're gassed
I can make a killer album then dash
Ba-Barbados splash
We can be together on a boat, mash (Mash)
Me and Fifi make cash (Bare)
Sutting them man never make, brap
When I was fifteen, I was told to hold a strap
And if I wanna be a badman, run into the gaffa (Brap)
Man said his CD was cert'
But when I put it on, there was less looking at the speakers like one, two, three
My mum could rap better than that, you're shit
Everything about you, fake like Jordan
You've been in a studio all your life
And you still ain't come up with nothing, what are you recordin'? (Boom)
Been to your show, not even your dad was applauding
Even the bouncer was snoring
You see us, man, we roll ten man deep on the tour bus
You ain't tight with your friends, they snake you, now your life's boring
Prick had a dream about being a star (Dickhead)
Did a little video, rented a car
Holding a cigar thinking Jay-Z or someone's gonna come along and sign him

[Fearless {Dappy} *Fearless & Dappy*:]
You're a punk that rolls with twenty-five pricks (Pricks)
Make a mistake, I'll end your life quick (Quick)
Keep saying you're gonna come for my bitch
'Cause you kick wasteman and make it dust like Ibrahimović (What?)
What? Nah fam, I don't give a shit {Nah}
Big man still acting like a little kid
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
It's not my fault your girl's on my page more than your little dick (Yeah, yeah)
I'm going in, more than a little bit (Woo)
Didn't wanna mention no names on the track, but ah
Fuck you, you fat little shit {Fat little shit}
I'm real, on mic, I show skills
Stop talking about gun, you don't kill
You think you're so ill
Been to over twenty meetings and you still ain't got a deal {Got a deal, got a deal, got—}
You're stalling, I make dough when you're in the bed snoring
Four in the morning, up, breath yawning
You might not see me, comprehend that I'm touring
I'm nineteen and I'm exploring (Yeah)
I'm rising up, you're falling {Down}
I'm scorching, you're boring
I'm going full width, not back like foreskin
Back then, I kick you off the *see-saw*
Now you give it back 'cause you roll with the *repo*
You might be old, but I'm stil rogile
Young, but I still treat mine like an *older*
You the type to say, "I'm getting popcorn tonight"
And still hit the sack holding your *boner*
Next day, chat crap to everyone saying that you banged two hoes, you're a joker

[Dappy:]
I'm a Nigel (Straight)
You're a fan, like Stan on the Eminem track with Dido (Bruh)
I remember when I had a runny nose, tryna draw down girls at the lido
Then I thought (Wait), can't knock, gotta break the door (Bang)
Nowadays at an N-Dubz show, psycho fans camp from the day before (Uh)
Girls love putting it on the plate, what you hating for?

[Fearless {Dappy} *Fearless & Dappy*:]
I tell her, "Girl, yo we are linkin'" {Linkin'}
She said, "Course, yo, but my man's over there, *whingin'*"
She said, "I'm on a BlackBerry hype, add me tonight"
Shh, *baby, it's a ping ting* (Ping ting)
Didn't know her man was an MC too
I was like, "What? Where? Who?"
Ah, that dickhead ain't even had four-thousand views on YouTube