Up In Smoke

(album: A History Of Bad Decisions - 2013)

Stare at the wall 'till my eyes fall out my head
"Get out of bed" she said
So self destructive
Up in smoke, all came to nothing
Being broke and lonely doesn't make much sense
I wish you'd see my point of view
You're so uptight, loosen your screws

Try to find the words that you expect me to say
I know I let you down again
I get it
I see that look in your eye
I just hoped you could see
Swear to God that I tried
I just thought that for once I could do something right, but I can't
And I'm sorry
Heard you call
Did you want me?

I had it all but inside I was drowning

Now I can feel the pressure weighing down on me
I can't live up to all your standards
Can we learn to disagree?

Building back the trust you lost in me again
You're so upset and stressed
So disappointed
Dig up the past
Leave me with haunting situations I thought we agreed to let stay dead
I know I fuck up every time
I fall apart, you fall in line

I bit my tongue and my mouth filled up with blood
I tried my hardest but still it wasn't enough
A desperate longing from trust
I get so close but I crush it again
My integrity's spent
I just hope that you know I'll be there 'till the end
When you're gone, I'll be broken
Let it out
Cut me open

Bury my head in my hands
How will I ever redeem myself?

Pressure weighing down on me
I can't live up to all your standards
Can we learn to disagree?
Pressure weighing down on me
When I can't give you all the answers you expect the worst of me

Stare at the wall 'til my eyes fall out my head
"Get out of bed" she said
So self destructive
Up in smoke, all came to nothing