Basketball

(album: 100% Fresh - 2019)

My daughter plays basketball, my nine year old. So, I go and see her play basketball, and she's a sweetheart of a kid. And every time they put the kid in the game, I get so excited. I take my video camera out, and I fucking video everything she does. And so, a couple Sundays ago, I'm videoing my daughter and another dad goes, "Hey, can you email me that when you're done?" And I go, "Yeah, absolutely, dude. And then I'm videoing my kid and then I remembered. Actually, when I video my kid, I say a lot of things, and... It's always not stuff I want other people to hear. And I'm always like, "Okay, you got it, you little cutie. You've got the ball. You're so good. Look how good you are. You take the ball. Pass it to my kid. Somebody pass it to my kid. I'll get a break your fucking neck, I swear to God. Give that fucking ball to my fucking kid. You all suck out there." And I was like, "I better not email that to that man there. So I just emailed him the ghost/dick pic thing. The guy was like, "What the fuck's with the ruler?" I go, "Yeah, the ghost was an asshole. Fuck that guy." "I'm with you."