Farley

(album: 100% Fresh - 2019)

All right, guys, gonna do this one. This is a very special song. I hope you like it. It means a lot to us. Here we go. [cheering]

The first time I saw him he was sweeter than shit
Plaid jacket and belt too tight
He wasn't even doing a bit
Then he cartwheeled around the room
And slow danced with the cleaning lady
He was a one man party
You know I'm talking about
I'm talking about my friend Chris Farley

On a Saturday night my man would always deliver
Whether he was the bumblebee girl
Or living in a van down by the river
He loved the Bears and he could dance
That Chippendales with Swayze
When they replaced his coffee with Folgers
He went fucking crazy
The sexiest gap girl
Without him there'd be no lunch lady
In lunch lady land

Oh, I'm thinking about
I'm thinking about my boy
Chris Farley

After a show he'd drink a quarter Jack Daniels
And stick the bottle up his ass
But, hangover as hell
That catholic boy would still show up to morning mass
We tell him "Slow down, you'll end up like Belushi and Candy"
He said 'Those guys are my heroes, that's all fine and dandy"

I ain't making that shit up
That's the truth about my friend
Chris Farley

I saw him in the office crying with his headphones on
Listening to a KC And The Sunshine Band song
I said "Buddy, how the hell is that making you so sad"
Then he laughed and said "Justthinkin1 about my dad"

The last big hang we had was at Timmy Meadows wedding party
We laughed our balls off all nightlong, all because of Farley
But a few months later the party came to an end
We flew out to Madison to bury our friend
Nothing was harder than saying goodbye
Except watching Chris' father have his turn to cry

Hey buddy, life's moved on but you still bring us so much joy
Make my kids laugh with your Youtube clips or Tommy Boy
And when they ask me who's the funniest guy I ever knew
I tell hands down without a doubt it's you

Yeah, I miss hanging out watching you trying to get laid
But most of all I miss watching you fuck with Spade
You 're a legend like you wanted
But I wish you were still here with me
And we would get on to shoot Grown Ups 3

Yeah, life ain't the same without you boy
And that's why I'm singing about
I'm singing about my friend Chris Farley
And if you make enough noise
Maybe he'll hear us
Give it up for the great
Chris Farley

By far the funniest fucking guy of all time, the Farls, man. Yeah, baby, so thank you. I couldn't wait to sing that to you guys, and I knew it would be special here. And thank you. [cheers and applause] He was the best. He was the best.