I'm Changing My Name To Chrysler

(album: The Paxton Report - 1980)

Oh the price of gold is rising out of sight
And the dollar is in sorry shape tonight.
What the dollar used to get us
Now won't buy a head of lettuce.
No, the economic forecast isn't bright.

But amid the clouds I spot a shining ray.
I can even glimpse a new and better way.
I've demised a plan of action,
Worked it down to the last fraction,
And I'm going into action here today.

[Chorus:]
I am changing my name to Chrysler,
I am going down to Washington, D.C.
I will tell some power broker
What they did for Iacocca
Will be perfectly acceptable to me.
I am changing my name to Chrysler,
I am headed for that great receiving line,
And when they hand a million grand out
I'll be standing with my hand out,
Yes sir, I'll get mine.

When my creditors are screaming for their dough
I'll be glad to tell them all where they can all go.
They won't have to scream and holler,
They'll be paid to the last dollar,
Where the endless streams of money seem to flow.
I'll be glad to tell them what they can do.
It's a matter of a simple form or two.
It's not just remuneration, it's a liberal education!
Ain't you kind of glad that I'm in debt to you?

[Chorus]

Since the first amphibian crawled out of the slime
We've been struggling in an unrelenting climb.
We were hardly up and walking before money started talking,
And it said that failure is an awful crime.
Well, it's been that way a millenium or two,
But now it seems that there's a different point of view:
If you're a corporate titanic and your failure is gigantic,
Down in Congress there's a safety net for you.

[Chorus]