Modern Maturity

(album: Live - For The Record - 1996)

When you find it in your mail for the first time, my friend
Then you'll know that you've turned a corner and you're getting' grey
It's a sure sign of decline, it's the start of the end
When your wrinkles outnumber your hairs, then it's heading your way
Modern Maturity means you're getting old
And now you get the magazine that you hide from your friends
Once it was Rolling Stone, it was thrill after thrill
And now Modern Maturity means over the hill
When Mick Jagger has his breakfast of yogurt and bran
Does he read of prescriptions by mail, or of self-rising chairs
Oh, you keep on rocking and rolling as long as you can
Then you sit in your little seat and you ride up the stairs
Modern Maturity means you're getting old
A-now you get the magazine that you hide from your friends
Once it was Rolling Stone, it was thrill after thrill
And now Modern Maturity means over the hill
I look through its pages and what I see there
Is that everyone looks about twenty-five with white hair
You can get polyester pants for nineteen ninety-five
You can get your grandchildren's picture on your coffee cup
If you're tired of walking, there's a scooter that you can drive
Or a button to push if you've fallen and you can't get up
Modern Maturity means you're getting old
And now you get the magazine that you hide from your friends
Once it was Rolling Stone, it was thrill after thrill
And now Modern Maturity means over the hill