Father

(album: Sincerely Yours - 2014)

Yeah, alone in this room, just me and my conscious
Wondering if the lords really watching cause
If he is then tell me why I've been going through hell
Lately and I just don't feel like heavens an option
Look, I feel the guilt pouring in
I wonder if he feels my pain
Cause everyday its getting more intense
Moms could barely afford the rent
Had to do some shady shit to survive
But I just hope the lord forgives
Is he forgiving like they say he is
Is there anyway away from this
Is there even anyplace where kids go when they pass away
I heard somebody say there is
But I don't know who to trust no more
And grandma said I really shouldn't cuss no more
But I just tell her "I'mma try" and knowing I'mma stay the same
I try to change so many times, I can't adjust no more

Shit, but father when will I see more smiles and frowns
Where do I go when I'm buried deep in the ground
Father why is the world never holding me up
I feel like I'm always letting you down
I feel like I'm always letting you down

I feel like I'm always letting you down
I often wonder bout who I'm a disappointment to
But no matter how good you do, they still point at you
Sometimes I don't know how I get through the day
Cause even though you see me smile, it don't mean I'm okay
I just don't wanna be bothered with questions
Father why these cats always causing problems
I've been constantly stressing
Shit, I wonder if he's even listening to me
Searching for answers, but ain't nobody giving em' to me
Plus my girl needs attention, I can feel the tension
My pops is on a drinking binge
And he's on the break of an intervention
But he taught me so much with only his actions
What I learned from him, he would never imagine
If there was something that I would want him to know
Every mistake he made, it was all meant to happen
No time wasted cause I learned from it all
Made me a better man inside, made me learn when I fall
There's always a reason to get back up on your feet
So if you hear me lord, I hope you could answer this for me

Father when will I see more smiles and frowns
Where do I go when I'm buried deep in the ground
Father why is the world never holding me up
I feel like I'm always letting you down
I feel like I'm always letting you down