Even After I Die

(album: Of The Heart, Of The Soul And Of The Cross: The Utopian Experience - 1991)

A question mark's on a question mark
And insecurities connect my parts
I thought you are me and I am you
So I talk to myself 'til my face turns blue
Ask me if my feet touch the ground
I drift away and explore the profound
A morph to satisfaction is the trip
It's you... isn't it?...
Father tell me what you think of me
Please, tell me what you think of me
The pressure and the weight comes in with the tide
I tell you that I love you a thousand times
Someone said a silver course lands my door
Now question marks talk to me even more
I'm tired.. and I wanna come home
But all that pains me is the thought of my own
The thought of you just reeks with divinity
A spark by my heart is the symbol of the trinity
I can understand that the stakes are high
But I'd really like to know what I've done and why
I'm floating in a sea of doubt when it comes to that
It seems as though all of my thoughts are now acrobats
I am you, now that's a thought to renege
But in the thought that stops it seems to get big
I wonder why father.. why it is what it is
Because I am what I am?.. what gives?
Alphabet soup brings uncertain T's
A kiss on the cheek is more trouble for me
Is it possible that I might decompose
And reassemble with a spark and a rose
I notice that oblivion follows me around
As ode to forgetful mind is shot down
Eternity is holding a rubix cube
And everything inside it seems to be nude
I just don't get it sometimes it's weird
It barely shakes but escalates into fear
I'm so distraught that it now makes sense
The perfect pony.. but you'll only get a glimpse
Now someone tried to hit it with a stick of bamboo
I wonder wonder wonder wonder who
I grin as the era of the selfish fades
And I'm looking at the skies through a pair of dark shades
And I'm buggin I guess cause it makes me feel good
There's so many things that I misunderstood
I guess I'll never know.. it'd probably cut me like a knife
I swore I spent my life trying to be christ-like
But I love you father so I can't lie..
I think I'll still be scared even after I die..