Tosspint

(album: Pogue Mahone - 1995)

Tosspint rises early
Sprung from a nightmare's claw
Thrice crows the dawn cock
The mist is on the moor
Tosspint cries from croaking gills
Thank God I'm not forsaken
From the hellish depths of sleep
At last I am awaken

Tosspint flushed his kidneys
And rained a golden shower
Pleased to piss a good pot full
He shat upon the hour
Tosspint filled his belly
With tripe and ox's tongue
A sucking pig stuffed with figs
Into his guts he flung

Full belly and the dance is merry
Where hunger reigns no strength obtains
The wheel spins, the gurdy hums
Ring the bells and beat the drum

Tosspint drinks lustily
And pees against the sun
All around the hoary oak
The laughing maidens run
Tosspint warms his codpiece
To the flour adds the yeast
In the field by Tanner's Mill
He plays to two-backed beast

Twist the spigot, close the hole
Stoke the fire and blow the coal
The wheel spins, the gurdy hums
Ring the bells and beat the drum
Full belly and the dance is merry
Where hunger reigns no strength obtains
The wheel spins, the gurdy hums
Ring the bells and beat the drum

Tosspint fell foul of dogma
And slipped into schism
The trial was quick, the sky grew dark
They led him from the prison
Tied him to a stake of oak
Lit a fire of wood and coke
The crowd sang out "His bacon's smoked!"
The bells rang out "Tosspint's croaked!"

Tosspint under flaming sky
Walks through the fires of Hell
Where bestial demons threw the damned
Screaming as they fell
Into pits of burning coals
Tosspint throws up his last bowl
And mingled with the soup
His soul

Tosspint rises early
Sprung from a nightmare's claw
Thrice crows the dawn cock
The mist is on the moor
Twist the spigot, close the hole
Stoke the fire and blow the coal
The wheel spins, the gurdy hums
Ring the bells and beat the drum