PHD

(album: Jamesy Boy & The Screw Loose Zoo - 2021)

Doctor, I feel like I was poisoned
I haven't showed any signs or warning
I'm sick of the pills I'm fighting
I'm somewhere between a new life and dying

I don't know who I am
I don't know who I am
I don't know who I am
But I know who I want to be

Alright, I'm scared and angry
Five years in a blur
Misdiagnosed, had nothing wrong with me to cure
I listened, I was just a kid
No voice from myself, I hold up and hid
Didn't have no one to talk to
Only felt pain, barely felt at all
I was so drained
Couldn't laugh or cry
No lows or highs
I was so numb, you could stick a needle in my eye
How do I explain what it was like?
The new doc explained they had it wrong my whole life
This whole time believing it was from my dad
Docs write prescriptions quick as they can
They're getting spiffed with pharma gifts
I was a cog, a number on a list
I can't go back to black
(I can't go back to black)

Doctor, I feel like I was poisoned
I haven't showed any signs or warning
I'm sick of the pills I'm fighting
I'm somewhere between a new life and dying

I don't know who I am
I don't know who I am

I stopped taking the pills, scary at first
A wave of emotion, and one sudden burst
No longer in my shell, feeling flooded my brain
Dropped fifty five pounds, broke out of my cage
I could laugh again, I could cry again
I could feel love and I made some new friends
For the first time in many damn years
Had my life back and I was steering

Doctor, I'm clean of this poison
I have set myself free, I can breathe again
I'm a new version of me learning who I am
Trusting myself, I got a plan

Now I know who I am
Now I know who I am
Now I know who I am
I'm getting my PHD
Now I know who I am
Now I know who I am
Now I know who I am
I'm getting my PHD