Be Better (Me? Never Demo)

(album: B-Sides & Rarities Vol.9 [2017-2020] - 2021)

But I know

Pitter pattered on the eggshells like I didn't matter
Then I tried to compensate and find a different pattern
You see, I'm flawed at my core, I need to split the atoms
Quit this planet, and finally take a trip to Saturn
"Get him out of here!" the voices say "switch the channel!"
And so I fight still, despite losing initial battles
I'm stripped of ammo, so my instinct's not to hit the download
On any new ideas
My movements rigid
Rav no loser, kid
What am I disillusioned with now?
I keep losing it
Why do I keep on snoozing in my house?
Never move for shit
Sabotage with foolishness
Whenever happiness is before me, I outmaneuver it
Then I keep on doing it
And see the rest of all my time
I'm biting flesh up off the bone of every enemy in sight
But it does nothing more but spread the venom, severing my ties
My coping mechanism is incredibly trite
I know

They tell me do better, be better
Who? me? never
Never, uh
They tell me do better, be better
Who? me? never
Never

This loop it will not cease
It'll keep doing as it pleases, refusing to let me breathe
Analysis grips my throat
Music helps release, until I sleep
And now I'm only ever lucid in my dreams
I seek validation
I'm as fragile as a damaged plate is
An amalgamation of a thousand shavings of self-doubt and self-destructive salivations
My body is a cage, my mind's the captive waiting
And it's been trapped for ages
You see, I used to think it had the key
But now it's clear I cannot leave
So optimism has since long abandoned me inside my own anatomy
These days my shades of blue only ever speak candidly
I'm honestly embarrassed just how dull and repetitive my thoughts have now become
I've no control over my past, nor my present
So my future now seems so inauspicious
I will be this till I can no longer crawl, ayo

They tell me do better, be better
Who? me? never
Never, nah
They tell me do better, be better
Who? me? never
Never
Never
Yeah