Escapism.

(album: My 21st Century Blues - 2023)

Sleazing and teasing, I'm sitting on him
All of my diamonds are dripping on him
I met him at the bar, it was twelve or something
I ordered two more wines 'cause tonight, I want him

A little context if you care to listen
I find myself in a shit position
The man that I love sat me down last night
And he told me that it's over, dumb decision
And I don't wanna feel how my heart is ripping
Fact, I don't wanna feel, so I stick to sipping
And I'm out on the town with a simple mission
In my little black dress and this shit is sitting

Just a heart broke bitch
High heels six inch
In the back of the nightclub, sipping champagne
I don't trust any of these bitches I'm with
In the back of the taxi sniffing cocaine
Drunk calls, drunk texts, drunk tears, drunk sex
I was looking for a man who was on the same page
Now it's back to the intro, back to the bar
To the Bentley, to the hotel, to my old ways

'Cause I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night
Doctor, doctor, anything, please
Doctor, doctor, have mercy on me
Take this pain away
You're asking me my symptoms, doctor
I don't wanna feel

Toke this joint how I'm blowing this steam
Back to my ways like 2019
Not twenty-four hours since my ex did dead it
I got a new man on me, it's about to get sweaty
Last night really was the cherry on the cake
Been some dark days lately and I'm finding it crippling
Excuse my state, I'm as high as your hopes
That you'll make it to my bed, get me hot and sizzling
If I take a step back to see the glass half-full
At least it's the Prada two-piece that I'm tripping in
And I'm already acting like a dick, know what I mean?
So you might as well stick it in

Just a heart broke bitch
High heels six inch
In the back of the nightclub, sipping champagne
I don't trust any of these bitches I'm with
In the back of the taxi sniffing cocaine
Drunk calls, drunk texts, drunk tears, drunk sex
I was looking for a man who was on the same page
Now it's back to the intro, back to the bar
To the Bentley, to the hotel, to my old ways

'Cause I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night
Doctor, doctor, anything, please
Doctor, doctor, have mercy on me
Take this pain away
You're asking me my symptoms, doctor
I don't wanna feel, mm (What?)

'Cause I don't wanna feel like I felt last night
I don't wanna feel like I felt last night
Be at peace with the things you can't change (Last night)
I'll be naked when I leave and I was naked when I came, yeah
Out of reach, out of touch
Too numb, I don't feel no way
Toast up, so what?
Street small, but it go both ways
So, you'll run, yeah
But you'll never escape
Sunset in the maze
(You're asking me my symptoms, doctor, I don't wanna feel)

I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night, oh
Doctor, doctor, anything, please
Doctor, doctor, have mercy on me
You're asking me my symptoms, doctor
I don't wanna feel

I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night

Mm, lipstick smudged like modern art
I don't know where the fuck I am or who's driving the fucking car
Speeding down the highway sipping
Mixing pills with the liquor 'cah fuck these feelings
I left everyone I love on "Read" (Uh-huh)
Spilling secrets to the stranger in my bed (Uh-huh)
I remember nothing so there's nothing to regret (Uh-uh)
Other than this 4/4 kick drum pounding in my head