The Streak

(album: 20 Comedy Hits - 1995)

[Reporter:]
Hello, everyone, this is your action news reporter with all the news that is news across the nation, on the scene at the supermarket.
There seems to have been some disturbance here. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

[Witness:]
Yeah, I did. I's standing overe there by the tomaters, and here he come, running through the pole beans, through the fruits and vegetables, nekkid as a jay bird.
And I hollered over t' Ethel, I said, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it's too late, she'd already been incensed.

[Chorus:]
Here he comes, look at that, look at that
There he goes, look at that, look at that
And he ain't wearing no clothes

Oh yes, they call him the Streak
(Look at that, look at that)
Fastest thing on two feet
(Look at that, look at that)
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He going give us a peek

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
(Look at that, look at that)
He likes to show off his physique
(Look at that, look at that)
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streaking around
Inviting public critique

[Reporter:]
This is your action news reporter once again and we're here at the gas station. Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

[Witness:]
Yeah, I did. I's just in here gettin my car checked, he just appeared out of the traffic.
Come streaking around the grease rack there, didn't have nothing on but a smile.
I looked in there, and Ethel was getting her a cold drink.
I hollered, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too late.
She'd already been mooned. Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers.

[Chorus:]
He ain't crude, look at that, look at that
He ain't lewd, look at that, look at that
He's just in the mood to run in the nude

Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
(Look at that, look at that)
He likes to turn the other cheek
(Look at that, look at that)
He's always making the news
Wearing just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique

[Reporter:]
Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym, covering the disturbance at the basketball playoff.
Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

[Witness:]
Yeah, I did. Half time, I's just going down thar to get Ethel a snow cone.
And here he come, right out of the cheap seats, dribbling, right down the middle of the court.
Didn't have on nothing but his PF's. Made a hook shot and got out through the concessions stand.
I hollered up at Ethel, I said, "Don't look, Ethel!"
But it was too late. She'd already got a free shot.
Grandstanding, right there in front of the home team.

[Chorus:]
Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
(Look at that, look at that)
The fastest thing on two feet
(Look at that, look at that)
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He's gonna give us a peek

[Witness:]
Here he comes again.
Who's that with him?
Ethel? Is that you, Ethel?
What do you think you're
doin'? You git your
clothes on!

[Chorus:]
Oh, yes, they call him the Streak
(Look at that, look at that)
He likes to show off his physique
(Look at that, look at that)
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streaking around
Inviting public critique

Ethel! Where you goin'?
Ethel, you shameless
hussy! Say it isn't so,
Ethel! Ethelllllll!!!