Pollution / Disclaimer

(album: Her And All Of My Friends - 2019)

This toil's not what I'm made for
Head's not so full anymore
The load was not so hard to carry
A lack thereof brought me to my knees
You tested my maturity
The apple takes bites out of me
I want to see a fight
I want to see a fight
I want to fight this setting sun
But it took far too many months to learn that suns can't be outdone
They'll burn your skin off even the pretty ones
But they're only pretty due to pollution
What is beauty if what creates it is bad
I'm fully here but fully sad
I want to sing but just to add to all the sounds that turn monotonous before long
And you're just like them
The trees withstand the storms but don't assume they wouldn't like to fall
I think it would be nice to fall asleep and know that I'm not all yours
I'm not all yours
Well there is plenty out there still to see
And you were not required to stay with me
And there's no other like you but that's okay because there's billions like me
You were very difficult perfection but I prefer easy mediocrity

I think I know more with each stage I pass through
And I think I like the thought of not seeing you
I'm awake in the ground the darkness soothes my eyes
And I hear shovels digging and killing the mood
But what more can I do
I've got no more than some nights full of fun and some popular songs and a girl that's my type
Plus a lot more who aren't in love with me but in love with the music I write
That means something, right?
Well they say it does
Soon as the words leave my mouth they create a buzz
Soon as the tone leaves my voice I start trying to sound like I'm an actual rapper
I never claimed to be
And honestly, I never promised you anything
I don't do this for the sake of satisfying the fans
And while it's nice to know I made the song that's making them dance
I find it necessary that I say some things in advance:

This started out as a vie for attention from an ex
And I'm the most creative when I'm an emotional wreck
Every happy song I've written ended up pretty bad
And it's hard to smile when they only cheer if you're sad
I never promised you a genre or a dance-able song
I never promised that this one wouldn't go on for too long
And I don't care if they listen
They either won't or they will
But I've been just talking for two minutes and you're listening still