Fake Smile

(album: Put A Crown On It - 2019)

Y'all don't know shit
Y'all just go off what you see in IG
And be pressing the keypad
I don't let em see half of my real life
Almost seen death, clean fresh out of rehab
Phone don't work, can't take calls
Still got some anxiety I can't shake off
But I can't take bars
Last two years I've been living off of credit
They suspended on my Amex card
Want to wallow in a bottle and a Kleenex box
Pillow case stained with dried up tears
Some of the fans understand
Others can't, listening wondering how'd I wind up here
Like I made a living trying to fuck up my career
I don't think I've ever been this angry
Stint with the record label ended strangely
Because our friendship was short but was business mainly
In suspension dangling like a dead deer bleeding out
Suicide attempt at anguish but I failed to jump
The happy drunk guy that I was died
Follow me you'll probably see me self destruct
With my explosive temper burning hotter than a pot of molten amber
Told my closest friends that I'ma kill them too but I don't remember
Now my wife gotta fight lymphoma cancer, God damn

My life fucked up I may break down (may break down)
My life my luck, oh wait what now (wait what now)
Shit, I wonder why I can't fake smile
I'm high I'm drunk I can't come down (can't come down)
Post another drunk vid hard to break my frown
Hurry up take a pic
I can't FAKE SMILE
I can't FAKE SMILE
I can't FAKE SMILE
I can't FAKE SMILE
(I'll kill all you motherfuckers!)

I was all the way broke back in 2016
Trying hard to keep it hush hush
Plus a couple headbutts caused strain in between me and Strange
And replaced where the puppy love once was
Threw a sucker punch even though we touched gloves
Started feeling like the whole fight was rigged
Really should have reconsidered reigniting shit
Because I got nothing for respect deep inside for Tech
I was convinced again that I could only write on METH
I'm always in a bad mood and geeked
And I can count on one hand how much I've had sex
Me and my wife hate life, all we do is sleep
Spend all my money, gonna murdered, I'ma do this free
soon to be on the road again to earn it back
I went to Germany, Austria, Providence, Saudi Arabia
Never thought that I would take a loss over thirty racks, long gone
Hot headed, blood boiling more
I'm a wreck settling debt from the tour before
I've never seen my credit score this poor
I'm back to rolling quarters up
And buying 40s from the corner store
Straight flexin for the crowd like I'm Gorgeous George
Meet and greets full of fake handshakes and lies
Everyday I will pray I die
Because if I don't soon I'm afraid I'll take a life because

My life fucked up I may break down (may break down)
My life my luck, oh wait what now (wait what now)
Shit,I wonder why I can't fake smile
I'm high I'm drunk I can't come down (can't come down)
Post another drunk vid hard to break my frown
Hurry up take a pic
I can't FAKE SMILE
I can't FAKE SMILE
I can't FAKE SMILE
I can't FAKE SMILE
(I'll kill all you motherfuckers!)

Let's recap, I done went flat broke
If I ever had hope for the future then I was wrong
Why'd I try so long
Why did I get on around the same time people stopped buying songs
Why the guy that's known for giving me a break
Be the main artist they compare me to
My first album sold a couple hundred thousand
Never catapulted me to where I planned it to
There was label friction, cocaine addiction
Hard to separate the real from the fake and fiction
We've been saving six years
We finally had the wedding money
Two weeks before the ceremony my fiance took a sharp blade to her neck and wrists
Every turn was a burning bridge
My manager was so concerned he quit
We can't work anymore
Wasn't sure who this person is
Drunk, blurting shit loud on my phone on the runway
Plane suits came kicked me off the plane
And I was really on some murder shit
In San Francisco in the dark stalking prey
The elephant inside the room was obvious
Look at all the alcohol we drank
We couldn't hold down food
On the stage about to fall and faint
I want to pray to God but I'm ashamed
Because I HATE MY LIFE

My life fucked up I may break down (may break down)
My life my luck, oh wait what now (wait what now)
Shit,I wonder why I can't fake smile
I'm high I'm drunk I can't come down (can't come down)
Post another drunk vid hard to break my frown
Hurry up take a pic
I can't FAKE SMILE
I can't FAKE SMILE
I can't FAKE SMILE
I can't FAKE SMILE
(I'll kill all you motherfuckers!)