on one

(album: patient death - 2023)

I have a dream each night, of a version of me
I can't believe I started drinking at a quarter to three
You always wanted me to blow up, but I struggle to breathe
'Cause I can't really stand the thought of being sober this week

She said I'm on one
Baby, I got a problem
I thought I had my friends but
I guess I must've lost 'em

I just wanna be happy
I know I'm not content
Giving up on my friendships
I'm fucked up more than my ex

I guess I get it, this is everything you wanted right
You like to act like you were happy
I guess I get it, this is something that you do at night
You knew the script, yeah you were acting

Why can't I remember what it feels like to be strong
You were all I ever wanted, now I want nothing at all
You can't use me up, discard me, I'm not garbage, I'm not trash
You're an anchor on my soul, you took the me I can't get back

She said I'm on one
Baby, I got a problem
I thought I had my friends but
I guess I must've lost 'em

I just wanna be happy
I know I'm not content
Giving up on my friendships
I'm fucked up more than my ex